Binge Eating help

I have a confession to make.  I want to get off of the roller coaster I have been on.  I have issues that I don't know that I have.  Lately, I have been having issues with binging and that is depressing.  I am saddened that I cannot control myself.  I use myfitnesspal as a food journal and a weight loss guide.  I am so embarrassed by the food that I am ashamed to log on.  I would feel horrible adding all of those foods that I ate.  I wish I could eat the food and pretend to at least myself that I could carry the calories on to the next day.  I am having difficulty with binging and staying in control.  I need help and I don't know who to turn to for help.  I feel lonely right now and I need to be accountable for my actions. 

Sunday the sixth

I ate a lot of food and it isn't even dinner time yet.  I should have laid off of the desert, at least until later.  Other than that, I did well in the other snacks and other meals.  I binged somewhat but I don't feel guilty about what I ate however.

Done well

I have done well yet I realize that I need to lessen or cut out the processed foods.  I really enjoyed cooking today.  That felt good to do that.  I rather that I eat real food.  I have PCOS and processed foods are supposed to be really not so good for me.  In fact, all of us should either avoid or lessen the processed foods we consume.  I need to learn to eat healthier so that I could be healthier.  However, I feel good that I did not eat too much today.

Binge

I feel like I may have to start all over again.  I feel like giving up.  At least I thought I feel like giving up.  I was on a 30 minute food binge.  Sure it felt great to eat delicious food, but that was not something that I chose to do.  I feel like giving up.  I felt guilty.  I thought pre-planning my meals but binging has made it worse.  I am not proud of feeling so guilty but guilt is a sign of a good conscience.  So there is hope for me yet.

Struggling

I am not sure now if planning my meals even work.  It doesn't help with the binging problem that I still have.  I am struggling to eat in moderation.  How to deal with or rather, overcome this struggle, I need help with that.  I need help in making the right choices for me.  I am so tired of all of this.  I have decided to be more mindful of what I eat even with or without a meal plan.

Planning my meals

I have planned my meals today and I hope to continue doing so.  I believe that it is something that I needed to do after yesterday.  I did a lot more than binge yesterday.  I am not sure, but I know that I ate more than 3500 calories yesterday.  That is way too much.  A pound of food?  Wow.  It is amazing that I have eaten that much.  I don't feel guilty per se but I do feel like I am doing better and I needed to make changes.  I needed to take action, and I did just that.  That way, I will be able to track my meals so that I can better learn to eat in moderation.

Yesterday and today

Yesterday was a good day.  I have told my doctor about my struggle with eating in moderation.  I don't eat enough fruits and vegetables and my carb consumption is too large.  I admit that I do indeed consume too many sweets, processed foods, and carbs, and not enough servings of fruits and vegetables.  Today is a cheat day, but I think I overdid it.  I just hope I don't gain so much weight and eat so much food that I won't be able to bounce back.  I think that I will have to not worry so much, be less anxious and stressed-out, and plan out my meals beforehand.