In denial or just lazy?

Today, I found myself loving bread.  I went from loving peanut butter and jelly to toast and preserves to just slices of bread.  I didn't any fruits and vegetables.  I am not healthy and I have been a healthy eater lately.  I tend to eat whatever is available.  I realize that I have healthy foods in the house, but my eating habits are poor.  I have no real desire to change, which I know myself makes no sense. What is wrong with me?  I am obese.  I weigh almost 300 lbs.  I have never weighed that much in my entire life except for the last few years.  There were times when I have given up.  I have been willing to change, but I don't know how.  Sadly, I have no desire to change to the detriment of my health. I am not in denial or anything like that, but it still scares me.  I am clueless and fed up, yet seem okay with my poor eating habits.  I am confused.  How do I get past this mindset and not just start over? I just want to start from here and just do better next time.  Help me to balance things out.