Why do I really want to lose weight? Journal entry and summary 9/22/16

Over time, I have begun to realize that there are things that I should know about.  However, why I want and need to lose weight are not two of those things.  Sure, I do want to lose weight for my health.  But what are the other reasons I want to lose weight?  I do have a lot of guilt about a lot of things including eating poorly and gaining weight in the first place.  I have opinions of body image that are realistic, yet I don't see the positives in myself.  I gained numerous pounds over the years and I feel like if I have stayed on that diet, if I have exercised more, or if I had done a better job of following doctor's order, then maybe, just maybe, I would be thinner, feel like I am more beautiful, and most of all, healthier.  Right now, I am not thinner and because of that, I don't see myself as beautiful and I am not healthy.  Those are good enough reasons to want to lose weight, but I am and have been so obsessed about my weight.  I wish too much and that is also a problem.  I admire smaller and bigger people who already has a set goal in mind and work towards that goal.  I want to be one of those people who do that.  I want to do more than to just put my mind to it.  I want to accomplish it, but I have no idea how to go about doing so by putting it in action.  I just have no real set of goals.

Breakfast→	Cals	Chol	Sodium	Fiber	Sugar	Carbs	Fat	Prot	Track	Del
Brewed Coffee	4	0	8	0	0	0	0	0
Blueberry Muffin Homemade	364	0	330	0	36	60	10	4
	368	0	338	0	36	60	10	4

Lunch→	Cals	Chol	Sodium	Fiber	Sugar	Carbs	Fat	Prot	Track	Del
Beef Stew	194	25	760	1	3	15	10	8
Whole Grain Toast With PB	410	0	300	3	1	26	17	15
100% Orange Juice	112	0	2	0	20	25	0	1
	716	25	1062	4	24	66	27	24

Dinner→	Cals	Chol	Sodium	Fiber	Sugar	Carbs	Fat	Prot	Track	Del
Beef Stew	194	25	760	1	3	15	10	8
100% Orange Juice	112	0	2	0	20	25	0	1
	306	25	762	1	23	40	10	9

Snacks→	Cals	Chol	Sodium	Fiber	Sugar	Carbs	Fat	Prot	Track	Del
Almond Milk, Vanilla Unsweetened	80	0	360	2	0	4	6	2
Dark Chocolate Almond Granola Cereal (Cascadian Farms)	210	0	160	4	14	39	5	4
Good Morning Blueberry Smoothie	145	0	170	2	21	25	0	10
Cereal And Milk	520	0	0	0	0	120	4	0
	955	0	690	8	35	188	15	16

Cals	Chol	Sodium	Fiber	Sugar	Carbs	Fat	Prot
2345	50mg	2852mg	13g	118g	354g	62g	53g
Recommended Daily Allowance based on a 2,000 calorie diet scaled to your calorie goal. Set Custom Nutrient Goals
1718	258mg	2062mg	21g	34g	172g	58g	129g
Percent of your Recommended Daily Allowance based on a 2,000 calorie diet scaled to your calorie goal
136%	19%	138%	62%	347%	206%	107%	41%