Wednesday, March 15, 2017

My confession that needed to be made a long time ago

I wrote my struggles with binge eating.  I have a problem.  There should be no shame in eating. There should also be no guilt when it comes to the love of good food.  However, I felt shame and guilt.  I stopped caring at some times and I think I'm hungry at other times.  I have low self worth and I often feel guilty about my weight, or at least feel guilty about gaining weight.  I had thoughts about wondering what were to happen if I had stayed on that diet, how I would look.  I often wished that I had stuck to this diet.  I felt bad about my body and deep down, I have since I could remember.  I dieted and lost and gained weight since I was in fourth grade.  I often weighed more than the other kids and was made fun of because of it.  I had friends and a social life, but I lacked confidence when it came to dating.  I never felt I was attractive enough.  I even hated looking at some of my pictures. Other people had great looking school pictures but I never thought I photographed well, not even til this day.  I wanted to change things for years, but now is the time to take a stand.  I am finally being honest and I am finally getting help.  I wish this could be a regular entry, but following a plan has been hard and creating a journal has been even harder.  I  am feeling so much better about things and about myself because for the first time, I am finally being honest with myself.