Monday, March 31, 2014

Admitting some things

I realize that I do consume too many processed foods and not enough fruits and vegetables.  I like many can be easily deceived.  I feel like my problem is that processed foods while they taste good and do last longer than fruits and vegetables are not a friend so to speak.  Additives and preservatives are added to foods that lack nutritional value.  Try as they may, most potato chips have additives and contain salt and other spices no matter how healthy they claim to be.  I guess there is a war on obesity where more and more people are obese.  I cannot say that there is an epidemic like there is AIDS, but at the same time, obesity is something that must be taken seriously.  I wonder if I am taking it as seriously as I am supposed to.  The good thing is that I lost weight.  I cannot believe that I lost four pounds this weeks.  I want to be healthy and eat healthy.  I no longer want it to be a "dream" or something that I is hard to attain.  I did eat some pound cake and some chips, but I ate no fruits or vegetables, which is what I should have done.  Some country cookin' would have been healthier than what I ate.  Plus being a little active with the country cookin' wouldn't hurt either.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Sunday concern

Right now, I am eating lower sodium potato chips, which I think would be beneficial to my health compared to other flavors.  I was hoping that I would eat more servings of fruits and vegetables today.  One of my support team will be of great concern because I admitted that I diet is poor.  I would like to change that but where do I begin?

Saturday, March 29, 2014

What I am Supposed to Do

I am supposed to also write about how I feel due to my eating habits.  I ate plenty of vegetables and dairy but no fruits and that I am not proud of.  The fact is, I ate too many proteins today such as turkey and peanuts, which ate up the number of points that I could consume.  The idea behind Weight Watchers is to consume the daily points plus extra points for indulgences such as 1/2 cup of ice cream.  What I also need to do is identify my trigger foods and not let them "destroy" my "diet".  Foods such as chips and crackers are an example of processed, trigger foods that are not healthy for me.  Maybe I should make a list of foods that I should consume and should not consume such as processed foods.  If only I did that before.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Healthy eating

I may have eaten too many fries but I admit that they were good.  I also have to learn to say no.  I realize that if I were to make small changes, then I can learn to eat healthy and ultimately lose weight.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Opportunity for growth

I did not save the seven points for indulgences.  In fact, I went over the limit.  I consumed 54 points today. Despite that, however, I don't feel guilty about it.  Every day is a day of growth and learning.  I have learned a lot today.  I have learned to eat most foods in moderation and to take things slow one thing at a time.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

I feel like I can do this.

I am changing somewhat.  I am happy to say that so far, I have consumed 28 WW points though I can eat a limit of 43 points.  I can also consume 7 extra points for indulgences.  I have not really followed the plan like I should have.  There are times when I just wasted my points on extra meals.  That is not a good thing.  I need to do a better job to read up on the Weight Watchers plan.  I admit that I also need to plan my meals in advance.  If I do both of these things, then I can lose more weight.  I am in need of guidance and I want to lose weight and now I know how.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014


Things have got to change.  I cannot keep living my life wondering what should I eat and what I shouldn't eat...over and over again and not know what to do.  I need, want, and desire to change.  Now I must know what to do to change my eating habits, or I will gain another four pounds like I did this week.

Monday, March 24, 2014

The 24th

I am here to say that today I realize that I need to eat healthier since I have actually gained weight. However, there is a good reason why I gained weight, which was something I rather not explain.  I ate two sandwiches and some cereal today.  I have been here for a while and I realize that it is time to make a schedule to plan my meals.  I realize that there are some drawbacks to planning meals when binge eating, but ironically planning is what I have to do.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

I am getting better...

I am glad that I have no headache.  I feel better today.  I am a little bit tired.  I did least try to eat in moderation.  However, I didn't always eat in moderation.  How do I change from lacking a proper diet to a proper diet?  Is there a plan to all of this?  Does it come naturally?  I was thankfully, was binge eating for a while and I have to take that into account.  I feel like going out of my way to just do it.  Maybe I just sweating the small stuff meaning I need to learn to focus on what is right for a change.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

The 22nd of March

Right now, I have a headache.  I have been having one ever since yesterday off and on.  I don't know if it is because of how I have been sleeping or something else.  I do wonder if what I am eating contributes to having a headache.  I did manage to consume some fruits, vegetables, and grains.  I could do better, but I could do worse as well.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Eating in moderation

I learned today about consuming in moderation.  I will also learn today about the best foods that are good for PCOS sufferers.  I am to cut out or limit processed foods.  I am also supposed to eat servings of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.  In short, I am supposed to consume a healthy, balanced diet no matter what. I wondered how to consume all of those fruits, vegetables, lean meats, whole grains, and a small serving of starches.  I am doing well in those areas today.  However, I do tend to eat more than one serving at one time and that was what I did.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Tired today

I am here to write that I have eaten too much peanut butter.  Yep, that is the issue.  I am not saddened about it because I can do better.  That attitude that I have now is the attitude that I hope to continue to have.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Homemade chicken noodle soup

I have not binge eaten today, which is good.  As with obsessive thoughts, I need to calm down as calming down means a slowing down so that I can read how hungry I truly am.  I do have a problem that is not too hard to solve.  In short, there is a solution to every problem.  There are things that I can do now to curb my binge eating issue.  I can seek help.  I can also cook healthier meals.  I like to cook and I don't have to worry about consuming processed foods and my body ending up with the health problems associated with eating too many processed foods.  I can also learn to eat in moderation, which would save many calories per day.  I admit that I have not done that much to eat in moderation to day, but I did manage to make and consume some homemade chicken noodle soup with whole grain noodles.  This is what I wish I had done earlier instead of canned soup, though it isn't a bad thing.  I just need to think of my having polycystic syndrome and diabetes.  Too much, especially, of the wrong foods can end up worsening my health in the long run.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

The problem with my diet...

Maybe that is the problem: I try too hard and beat myself up whenever I fail.  I fail and I fall fast.  I hate to fail but that is the same thing as planning to fail.  I have wondered to how to reconcile the information with the Weight Watchers plan.  I need to learn how to eat better than I do.  I feel so much better today than I have in a while since I don't eat as much as I once did.  The first step is to admit that I have a problem.  Well, I have already admitted that I have a problem which is that I binge eat.  I realize that I have to start off slow and then work my way up.  I have a lot to lose which means that the task can be overwhelming and seeming daunting, but I refuse to believe it is impossible.

Here are the recommended servings with my diet....
Grains - at least 6 per day
Fruits and vegetables - approximately a total of 5-8 servings per day
Dairy - 2-3 servings per day
Lean meats - 6 oz. per day
Fats and oils - 2-3 servings per day
Nuts, seeds, and legumes - 3-4 servings per week
Sweets and added sugars - less than once per day on average

This is interesting since I don't eat nearly the recommended servings for a healthy diet, but I am not sure if it is attainable or if most people consume this type of diet rigidly, but I am not alone in this.  But, I have to admit that even if my diet is supposedly healthier, I don't eat enough fruits and vegetables.  I eat too many processed foods, fats and oils, nuts, and sugars/added sugars.  In short, my diet is rather poor and I admit that I have no idea how to change my diet accept I could add more fruits to my diet one "minute" and the next measure out the foods that I consume.  That in itself sounds rather daunting.  Maybe I should just accept the things that I cannot change, like admitting that my problem is not a problem to take lightly.  I would like to change the fact that it is daunting but to me it would be like taking away from the gravity of the problem.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Diet goals

I feel like I can do a better job not on my own, but with accountability.  I also have goals that I needed to set.  I will not only get some time of activity per week to exercise.  I will check my blood sugar twice a day, starting first thing in the morning.  I usually check my blood sugar the second time after dinner or before bedtime.  Lately, the high blood levels that I have been having are attributed to a poor diet, little exercise, juice drinking, and binge eating.  Those things I need help with because I am a diabetic and I would like to lose 90-110 lbs.  I no longer, however, feel guilty about "allowing myself to get this large".  I am who I am and it is my responsibility and responsibility only.  Yes, I need help and accountability, but I would like to know that I can accomplish something that I feel can be accomplished.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Diet issues

I have consumed more than 60 points today.  I look at what I ate and with every fruit and vegetable I eat, there are more than one potato chips, two more wings, and another plate of fries that I rather consume.  The payoff is consuming good food.  Maybe I need to weigh the pros and cons of eating some foods versus other foods.  That should help me out.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Making plans

Let me see...I realize how much help I truly need.  I have my support system yet the one person who can truly support me is me.  Planning my meals won't be easy but it will be worth it.  I believe that planning meals is beneficial yet difficult.  I only planned to eat a certain amount of foods per day.  It would be a great thing. Failure to plan is like planning to fail.  I have come to realize that there may actually be a strategy to lose weight.  I have been overwhelmed for a while and now it is time for me to let go.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

The thirteenth of March

I have consumed over the 43 point limit that I am supposed to eat throughout the day.  However, I have many points left so far for the weeks.  I have learned to eat better, say in moderation.  However, I have to learn to eat healthier.  I am not unhappy with what or how I ate today.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Today 3-12-14

I ate quite a bit of fried foods and white breads today.  I hope to feel better about what I ate.  I haven't eaten compulsively, but I do tend to eat the right kinds of foods which I do ever so often.  Now what I do ever so often is what I realize that I should do everyday.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014


I would like to continue eating much less than I have today.  I have been eating more fruits today than I have before.  Yesterday I was given information about how to eat healthy.  Eat in smaller portions and also load smaller plates with proteins with fruits and vegetables.  I would like to learn how to actually plan meals and stick to it.  Sadly, I rarely do.

Monday, March 10, 2014

Identifying my weight and my compulsive eating problem

I have some bad news.  The bad news is that I have gained weight.  The good news is that I can lose weight and I have done so before.  I didn't eat too much today.  I have been on Weight Watchers lately and I hope to count points and continue to do so for a long time.  I have a compulsion problem where I eat because I gave up.  That has made the compulsion much much worse.  Even making a plan in advance would make the compulsion worse.  I am coming to grips by gaining weight and by gaining weight, I can make a change.  I admit that I have a problem and it needs to be fixed.

Sunday, March 9, 2014


I am lucky to not engage in compulsive eating and drinking.  I did drink a lot of sweet drinks and juices however.  I felt as if there was a sudden drop in my blood sugar levels.  During those times, I wondered what can help me with the feelings of weakness and shakiness.  I did eat unhealthy foods, but in moderation. Maybe I should just lay off of the unhealthy foods for a while.  I have not lost any weight.  In fact, I have gained weight.  I want to do well for myself.  The best thing to do is to overcome or deal with the eating issues that I have.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Logging in

I did engage in compulsive eating today with two bowls of cereal.  I am ashamed of logging them into my Weight watchers account.  I feel like I am wasting money and energy on this program that I am not doing so well in.  I have not lost any weight in this program and I feel like a failure.  I feel weak and powerless to do much about it.  I definitely need to change those patterns and continue to get the help that I need.

Friday, March 7, 2014

Compulsive eating

I have a compulsive eating disorder, or so it seems.  I need to identify why.  Is it medical?  Do I take medication?  What do I do with my compulsive "nature"?  It seems impossible, but I find out today that it will take a lot of time and a lot of patience.  I eat all hours of the day and I feel guilty and I want to lose weight.  The first thing will be hard and that is to get rid of the trigger foods even though my mother has a hand in dealing with my own compulsions.  Maybe I should talk to her about them.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Taking it slow

So I tried my best to eat well.  At least not eat too much over the limit.  I still have a lot of work to do.  I have to take it one day at a a time.  I will still seek help with the issue that I have.  I won't make any excuses. All I know is that I need help.  I believe that I will finally get the help I need.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

My awareness of my problem

I have an issue and it hasn't just been on my mind.  It is an issue that I struggle with daily.  It isn't really about my weight as much as it is about my overall health and well-being.  Yes, I am overweight, but I am also an over eater.  I have my trigger foods that I have no business buying from the store.  It is hard to control myself whenever I eat.  I feel guilty about it and maybe writing it in this blog today can be of great help to me.  Hopefully I can come to terms as to why I have the issues that I do.  I keep believing that God is greater than my problems.  I still do, but it hasn't been easy believing so.  Maybe I should make the first move or say the right things.  I am not sure what I need to do now, but I wonder how to be an over comer in this particular situation.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Awareness of my issue

I have spent less time binge and have become more aware of what I overeat.  That is a good thing.  The downside is, is that I am still overeating.  I need help and I will not postpone this any longer.  I have even fewer points today than I have yesterday.  However, I realize that I have a long way to go.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Struggling once again

I am trying to not overeat, which I did today.  I did not know what to do. I realize that my problem stemmed from anxiety, but also from other things, like a compulsive need to eat...almost.  I am not sure what my internal problems are.  I do eat too much.  I lack patience and self-control and that is a problem that I have.  Maybe my problem is a spiritual problem.  Who knows?  All I know is that I feel alone.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

I wish

I wish I could just quit eating so much.  I believe that I have an addiction.  I need so much help, but I am frustrated and overwhelmed.  I don't know where to begin.  Today is one of my better days.  I seem to be hungry but not hungry.  I want, need, and desire to get myself together.  I ate mostly unhealthy foods in comparison to what I should be eating.  Maybe that is the problem.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Today's diet

I realize how much grocery shopping I do, I still have to learn to eat healthier.  I am in a way ashamed.  I have an overeating problem, especially when it seems I am "hungry".  I eat out of control and I feel like a glutton.  I want, need, and desire to lose weight.  I need help.  I know I sound like a broken record, but when today's diet consist of fruits, no vegetables, 2 milks, and fried foods, something has got to change.