Friday, February 28, 2014

Grocery shopping

I went grocery shopping and needless to say, it felt great.  I learned not only to do something for me, but I realize that I can eat and shop healthy.  I realize that application of learned principles on a consistent basis is quite beneficial.  My frustrations have done nothing but overwhelm me and has caused nothing but weight gain.  I want and need to eat better than I do.  I would like to enjoy the benefits of healthy eating.  I have to keep in mind on a constant basis how to eat while having PCOS and having diabetes.  I felt like a failure years back.  Now it seems, I have to make up for lost time.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Learning more about myself.

For the past few days, I have not made a response about my food intake.  I am still struggling but I realize that it is my fault.  I would like to lose weight and cook healthier foods.  Eat fried fatty foods in moderation even will not go towards losing weight if eaten for a period of time.  I have PCOS and I knew better.  I have to shop for better foods, which would go a long way into eating better.  All I have to do is do what is hardest.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Planning meals ahead of time

I have to do what I already know.  I have to plan my meals in advance.  It is urgent that I lose the weight and keep it off.  I lost over a pound today.  I am just shy under 300 lbs.  I wonder what my real goal is.  I would like to lose a lot of weight and feel much better.  Planning my meals is something that worries me as I can go over and eat more than what is allowed.  I feel like it is difficult to do so. However, planning my meals could go a long way into my losing weight.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Improving my eating habits

I ate peanuts this evening and an oatmeal creme pie just before that.  I wanted to and chose to eat them.  I realize that they are both trigger foods.  I do indeed eat the wrong kind of foods.  So I will need changes, many changes.  I realize things don't come easily for me.  I have to keep in mind that I have diabetes, high cholesterol, and blood sugar issues.  I also have PCOS so there are trigger foods that I am supposed to avoid.  There is more than eating so much.  There is ridding myself of processed and canned foods, which are difficult to do.  I wish to plan my meals, which would be beneficial.  However, I tend to eat beyond the limits of what I consume so that is because it will make me hungry.  I would like to learn how to eat and when to eat.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

2/21-2/22 entries

I hope to eat much better.  Eating two hamburgers, and two doughnuts with orange juice do not constitute a healthy diet.  I would like to be able to learn from that and apply it to my life.  Today, I didn't eat as much, yet I had to learn to do something for myself.  Eating or rather, consuming healthy foods is an option yet it doesn't always seem that way.  I have no excuses.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Decent eating day but need improvement

I ate pretty well today.  However I feel like I need to eat healthier though I ate protein.  I also need to eat fruits and vegetables today.  I don't eat enough of those on a daily basis.  Eating healthy is quite hard.  I realize that I have to do what is hard if I wish to succeed.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

It is the same thing as yesterday

It is the same thing as yesterday.  I must have forgotten what I have learned.  Application is quite hard for me.  Right now, I want a peanut butter sandwich.  I need help.  I need patience.  I wish I could have more time.  I need to lose weight because I want to lose weight and vice versa.  I have very few points left.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Struggling with food cravings

I am overwhelmed.  I am struggling with controlling my cravings.  Right now, I am not craving anything.  I wonder what can control cravings.   I crave peanuts one day and almonds another day.  I may have a sweet tooth, so I crave something sweet.  I am just struggling while I am on Weight Watchers.  Maybe this is just a part of the program.  I have no idea what I am doing, but I will stick to it.  Life like weight loss, is a journey.  I must remember that.  I was craving for peanut butter but I have to remind myself that I am sharing a house with another person, who also likes peanut butter.  I too must remember that.

Monday, February 17, 2014

I cannot believe it

I cannot believe it.  I feel like I can accomplish my goal.  I wasn't flawless, but I got better.  I ate fruits, vegetables, and legumes.  I am doing better because I learned how to do what I thought was hard all along.  I would like to feel better and less self-conscious.  I am a happier person today than I have been in a while.  I am very thankful.  I know I have gained weight, but ironically I feel great.  I know I can lose weight.  I know I can exercise and see them differently.  I am just hopeful today.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

49 points

I did eat some fried foods today, but in moderation.  For me, 2 servings per day is in moderation.  I tracked down what I wrote and I was within my limits.  I changed my limits to 49 points because only 42 points frustrated me.  It left me room for treats or desserts.  On the other hand, it is even more tempting to eat unhealthy foods.  I did also eat fruits and vegetables and I will consume more fruits as our day goes by.  Right now, I am in a good mood after a loss of electric power and a few days of being ashamed to admit that my diet is poor.  How I preplan my meals will be difficult, but it will be well worth it.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

It has been a while, I know

I am more motivated to lose weight.  I have a hard time saying no to foods, no matter how salty, how sweet, or how savory.  I have prayed for the motivation and the will to lose weight.  I may been approaching my weight all wrong all along.  What I need to do is to preplan my meals and prepare them in advance.  I just hope that I can not be able to eat above what I have planned.  My biggest problem is the time in which I eat my dinners.  Despite being on Weight Watchers, I have to admit that I am struggling.  I also have to admit that if I don't change, all I will be doing is wasting my money.  Who wants to waste money?  I don't.  Losing weight isn't just about losing weight, but also wanting and having the energy and desire to do so.  I just hope that I would develop the ability to "Keep It Simple" and not make the plan so hard it seems impossible.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Application is hard

How to apply what I have been learning has been quite difficult.  I am afraid that I could get worse health-wise.  I am overweight and diabetic.  Despite being on Weight Watchers, I could use some help and I could use some support.  Applying what I have learned is very hard to do and it is quite daunting.  I eat too much of the bad stuff and not enough of the good.  I know what to eat, but knowing how to eat and when to eat is very hard to do.  I need wisdom on how to eat.  I need guidance.  I need help.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Important things and not sweat the small stuff

I am glad to say that I did not overeat to the point of frustration.  However, I prayed about giving up control so that I can be motivated.  I feel much better than I have before.  I guess there were more and more important things that I need to deal with.  I have had other things on my mind.  Learning can be a struggle, but it can also take a little patience and a lot of application.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

I need help with my problem

I cannot keep continuing in the problem.  My reaction and how I go about living when it comes to my food is counterproductive.  If I want to lose weight, then I have to control my hunger and my emotions.  I have such a difficult issue to deal with.  I wish I could end it.  I feel okay but a little discouraged.  I have no idea what I need to do.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Lessons learned

Today I should have learned my lesson, but I did not.  Today was anything but a perfect day.  I need all the help I can get.  I want and need to lose weight but I feel so alone.  Maybe honesty when logging in is the best policy.  It can't be any worse than what I am doing now.  I need not to make "excuses" such as hunger and carrying it on to the next day.  Those things will not help me at all.  I realize that I need to make some changes, and fast.  I have to realize that first of all, wasting on a program that I am doing so badly on is not helping me.Nor is the fact that I am still struggling with overeating and not taking hunger into consideration.  I am also not helping myself by a failure to apply what I have just learned to my eating habits.  I know that I am supposed to eat up my points and I have an average of 7 extra points to use per day.  I have approached it all badly and I need help.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Dealing with eating too much.

I tend to eat a lot of food when I am hungry.  There are days when anything good no matter how healthy, can be a trigger.  I have no clue how to deal with a trigger until I carry the extra points until the next day.  It seems rather dishonest.  I would like to just control my eating so that I can lose more weight.  I am to keep it simple as I should have years ago.  I just want to lose weight because I know what could happen if I get larger.  I don't.  I want to fit into a chair, take less medication, fit into old clothes, and be less self-conscious about my weight.  Most of all, unbelievably, I would like to know that I have actually accomplished something.  I ate too much today and I wish I could eat less than my point limit.  How do I control myself?  How do I meet my needs without feeling guilty?  I wonder how.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Planning meals and differences

I am not sure how to plan all of my meals for tomorrow since I have an appointment.  My mother and I do cook different types of foods, which is true, yet there are foods like greens that we have in common.  I don't care for turnips but she does.  I admit that I do eat more processed food than she does however.  It is better to have her diet than it does mine however.  As for what I consumed today, I don't feel guilty about what I ate.  I have not used up my points as of yet.  I have a few points to go.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Lesson learned

I need to learn about diet and exercise.  I don't feel good about myself.  I would like to overcome eating too much processed foods.  My question is, how do I go about doing that?  I feel like being ashamed of myself because I want to be honest yet it has been hard.  I really have to log in everything I eat.  I have to and need to be honest with myself if I wish to lose weight and take care of myself.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

My inside thoughts about my eating habits

Right now I feel like giving up.  However I am reminded of a lot of things.  I am cheap, so I better not waste any money on something that has been good for my health, lol.  Seriously, I need to lose the weight that I gained and then some.  Today has been a good start for me.  It has been a spiritual awakening.  I would like to live my life as a responsible adult.  I have had issues such as anxiety, low self-esteem, and a lack of self-control to contend with.  Those are deep issues that I have to face also including fears.  I am also nervous about going ahead with WW.  I don't wish to allow frustration to cause me to quit.  I do overeat sometimes and I do like the taste and texture of food, but WW is teaching me how to eat, such as in moderation.  I also have to learn how to avoid or eat in moderation, trigger foods such as crackers, peanuts, and ice cream.  I do eat too much food because at times I eat food mindlessly and I have to deal with that so that I can overcome it.  I am not overwhelmed so I will take each issue one at a time.

Monday, February 3, 2014

The Good and Bad

I overate a little bit.  Well, I overate by 10 points, but at least I put ten of those 49 points to good use.  I have to be careful eating trigger foods or avoid them altogether.  I realize that I can and do eat some fruits and vegetables.  Eating grains and lean meats are also important.  Being on WW has taught me to eat.  I knew that I need to eat better, but being on WW helped me to really understand how bad my eating habits are.  The support I get is so great.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

I am not nervous today

I am a lot let nervous to exercise.  I was so nervous because I fear failure.  I think that an exercise log would make things easier for me.  Why I didn't realize this before, I have no idea.  I am happy to say that I have not used all of my extra WW points.  I have however eaten a lot, which is to be expected of such a day.  So far, the Broncos need all of the help they can get.  Any way, back to the topic.  I don't feel guilty about what I ate, but I surprise myself sometimes.  I ate less than I thought I would this time around.  I feel pretty good about what I ate.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Nervous about exercise

I have an obvious desire to change.  I am nervous however.  I am afraid that I will not stick to an exercise routine.  I like to walk and do other exercises but I am nervous about it.  To many, it makes no sense, but I am anxious about it.  I ate well today and I spent a lot of time learning how to eat.  I figure that doing a lot of work yet eating badly does no good.  So I wonder where I should begin?