Thursday, October 31, 2013

Regimen-Diet and exercise

I realize that I do need to exercise more.  I have to overcome my lack of will to exercise.  I do eat healthy and exercise is no problem, but my exercise regimen I admit, is not strenuous enough.  I believe that my regimen is too light.  I am eating better and taking it slow so to speak.  I don't believe that going below 1200 is beneficial for me.  Nor is going above 2200 is beneficial for me.  My goal is to get out of the plateau I am in.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Improving my eating habits

I don't eat as many snacks as I used to.  However, I rarely eat over the calorie limit. I barely notice that the number of calories I consume have gone down.  I feel so good about this. I haven't lost a ton of weight, but I am just I lost weight.  I do eat a lot of pasta.  I need to eat pasta in moderation.  A cup of macaroni and cheese is a full serving.  It is actually quite a bit of food.  However the chicken was baked and I had cut green beans.  So what I mean is is that at least the food was somewhat healthy.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

No snacks

I ate no snacks today.  I guess it is because of the copious amounts of food and drink that I have consumed at meal time.  Okay, maybe not copious, but it was enough food.  It wasn't the most moderate portions that I had, but it wasn't so copious that I was being a glutton.  I guess it was the green tea that I drank.  I plan to consume lasagna tomorrow.  I feel good about what I ate however.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Four weeks

It is the volume of food that I eat that is the problem.  I tend to eat twice as much food as I should.  However, I do not feel guilty about the food that I ate today.  I hope to eat the leftovers that I ate today.  I am happy to have eaten what I have eaten because today I am reminding myself of what I have.  I am grateful.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

How I am feeling

I feel that eating leftovers save some money and keeps food from being wasted.  I ate a small breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  However, those three meals are worth many calories per meal.  I have learned to be careful about how many calories I am supposed to consume.  I feel good, and full, about what I ate today.  I plan to eat spaghetti and chili tomorrow.  I may eat cereal tomorrow for breakfast.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Chili and bbq

I don't feel bad about what I ate.  I ate small portions of bbq and pasta and I am full.  I feel good about what I ate.  However, I realize that I should have eaten smaller portions of chili though the chili wasn't too unhealthy.  Because of the beans it filled me up.  Tomorrow, I plan to eat a starch, meat, and a vegetable, which is what I usually eat anyways.  I tend to eat in moderation most Sundays anyways.  I hope that I would continue to do so.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Carbs especially pasta on Friday

I do tend to eat a lot of carbs, especially pasta.  I have had some amazing bacon-pasta salad today.  That is why I mentioned it.  I do not feel guilty about how I ate.  I would like to make some chili tomorrow for dinner.  I will learn about planning my meals in advance.  It will I admit take some time but I believe it will keep me from overeating.  I am no longer frustrated and I am feeling fine.  I do think that I need to learn to eat better so that I won't eat everything I can get my hands on whenever my blood sugar level falls. 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Blood sugar levels falling

I have learned that I have to consume all that I eat including those calories that I consume when my blood sugar level rapidly decrease.  I went to the myfitnesspal forum and they have all been helpful.  I needed help and support and I got that help and support.  I have learned that I have to eat better than I have been even when my blood sugar levels fall.  Counting those calories discourage me and encourage me at the same time.  So I went over the daily calorie limit but I feel okay and not guilty.  I plan in advance to eat more chickpeas and salad tomorrow.  I hope that my blood sugar levels do not fall tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Life inventory

Why didn't I take the time to take stock of my life, including my health?  I have no clear goals in mind, at least permanent goals.  I only have temporary goals to fall back on.  I plan to decrease my calorie intake weekly until I reach about 2 pounds a week which will be a while.  I would like to lose about 20 pounds by January.  I don't have a lot of confidence that I can do it however and that is an issue that I need to deal with.

On the other hand, I didn't think that I could lose the weight either.  It has been slow and frustrating but so far it has been worth it.  I hope to continue losing the weight and learn and grow from my experience.  I have a lot of inventory to take and that includes what I will eat and how I will plan my meals.

That won't be so easy.  Right now, I am thinking of chickpeas to add to a salad.  That sounds healthy.  My health is very important to me.  I will finally act on how seriously I take that.  I will take it to heart.

I don't feel guilty about how I ate today.  However I ate 2 doughnuts from the Krispy Kreme as well as 3 donut holes.  That is not healthy.  I eat too many unhealthy foods, even in moderation.  But the question is, is it possible to eat the unhealthiest foods in moderation?  Sounds silly, but I would like to know.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

My present diet and weight

I lost weight. Yay!  That is how I am feeling right now.  I guess I should have boiled the egg instead of scrambled it.  I haven't eaten bread in a while now but I don't seem to miss it though.  I just have to get more creative.  We are blessed to have what we have.  We have a lot of food in the house so we are not starving.  I realize that I have to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables.  My weight is something that is important to ME and I will lose the weight for ME.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Present entry

The past entry was actually from yesterday.  I feel like I should have known better. 

Anyways, I weighed myself this morning.  I am so glad that I lost weight.  After all of the weight I gained, I cannot believe how fast this weight loss has been.  I feel so much better already.

Today I ate whole grain spaghetti with spiced-up turkey meatballs and marinara sauce.  I tried to thicken it up but it was okay the way it was.  I am just so happy that I lost weight.  I lowered my calorie intake from 2390 to 2210.  I hope to lower the calorie intake even further.

Following a diet can be hard especially when one tries to lower the calorie intake.  It isn't so easy, but maybe I haven't tried it on a consistent basis.

How I am feeling today

I feel good about what I ate today.  I had at least four servings of fruits, yet I didn't eat any vegetables.  I realize that I need to be mindful of not only what I eat but of everything. 

Saturday, October 19, 2013


I have eaten larger portions of food but I at least I am not over the calorie limit.  I plan to change or rather decrease my calorie intake to about 2150 calories.  It means that I have to eat extra fruits and vegetables and work extra hard to make sure that I don't go over the limit.  Therefore, I have to eat more low calorie foods such as fruits and vegetables and less of other foods.  It would be difficult for me but it will be worth it considering how much I ate last week.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Friday I did well

I have taken full advantage of my calorie intake.  Unfortunately, I tend to go over the 2200 calorie limit.  I should think of the calorie limit as a budget.  However, I did well today.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Change in my diet

I have eaten a large breakfast but I mixed my snacks together.  The food was good which was a trap for me.  I made barbecued chicken, hot dogs, and mashed potatoes.  I was lucky not to have eaten more than I had.  But what messed me up was not eating healthy enough.  I ate a lot of protein when I should have eaten fruits and vegetables.  I need to eat more fruits and vegetables and more fiber.  My diet is not great so how do I go about changing it?

Wednesday, October 16, 2013


I haven't eaten breakfast like a queen but like a pauper.  However, that should, and will change.  Lunch for me is the biggest meal of the day instead of breakfast.  Maybe, just maybe, that is a problem that I am having when it comes to losing weight.  I have issues with self-control and gluttony.  I also have an issue with hunger.  I tend to confuse some forms of hunger with true hunger.  Every time it seems, I am thinking about food I want to eat.  That too has got to stop because it happened to me today.  That is why my snack today is a large number of calories.  I don't wish to eat so many calories in snacks.  It seems too backwards to eat large snacks and small meals instead of the other way around.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Total control

I had to give up control of my eating and dieting habits to God.  It is frustrating not being able to follow dietary rules and also to go ahead and just eat healthy.  I have learned that worry and frustration need not to be the major issues that I face or otherwise I will binge eat.  I was left depressed or at least down in the dumps about my life.  It was time that I faced the truth.  My emotions and my frustration are two things I allow to get the best of me.  I am concerned at times whether I should eat anything at all.  Then I go eating too much.  I have heard that a woman should eat breakfast "like a queen", lunch "like a princess", and dinner "like a pauper".  This is one of many rules that maybe I should follow.  I don't feel guilty about eating any food today.  But I have to be mindful.

Monday, October 14, 2013


I need to be mindful of what I eat.  Today, I learned just that, to be mindful of what I eat.  I gained more than 8 pounds in the last few days, which I should have learned was detrimental to my health and my peace of mind.  I have been frustrated lately about my weight and my lack of weight loss.  I have been at a plateau for a while and yet I continue to lose and gain, lose and gain, lose and gain.  Now, I have been motivated to apply what I have learned to my life.  I need help in applying those weight loss and diet principles and those meal plans that I have to my daily life.  I hope to lose weight soon by eating a proper, healthy diet and exercise.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Another confession

I confess that I am a glutton in need of overcoming this issue.  I do wonder if it is a form of idolatry.  I know gluttony is a sin, so I need help.  I ate a lot of food today.  I have done a lot wrong and I hope to follow my new contract.  I hope to eat less than 2000 calories per day starting tomorrow.  Today I admit that I have eaten a lot and that I can get the help that I need.  I have been binging these past few days.  I will do better and I hope to continue to do so.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Confession time

I ate a lot of peanut butter crackers.  I don't like to eat much because I get sick when I do.  I am doing better than I did yesterday, but binge eating is a hard thing to overcome.

Friday, October 11, 2013


I know I need help.  I know I cannot really stop this on my own.  I need help.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

I give up

Let me see.  There really isn't much I am going to say.  I am going to eat a lot today.  So far, I had fried chicken, fries, bananas, cereal, and that is for breakfast.  I better not leave out the juice mix and the coffee.  I need to drink more water.  I can't take it anymore. But let me not forget the chocolate chip cookies and the four hot dogs I ate just now.  I did have craisins however.  I am stopping.  I stopped caring days ago.  I give up.  I realize I am hurting myself, but isn't it what I have been doing all along?

Wednesday, October 9, 2013


Maybe I am doing something dangerous.  I ended up with a headache yesterday because I was binging.  I am glad that I am okay today.  Myfitnesspal was putting too much pressure on me.  I tried to hard to overcome and not to struggle.  I would like to know what it will be like to not struggle and to take some time off of myfitnesspal.  I admit that I have binged and I am not proud of it.  I wish that planning my meals in advance would stave off the cravings, but it has not.  I need help in exhibiting self-control, and that is my real problem.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013


I binged today...again.  I know I need help but I cannot just stop.  I ate hot dogs with chili, fried potato wedges, cheese crackers, granola bar, cereal, and whatever I can get my hands on.  I even thought about eating cookies but I didn't.  I lack self-control and I know that help should be on the way, but I am scared, how how much really?  I feel guilty about eating so much.  I have a lot on my plate and I feel so alone in all of this.  I get my advice from the internet but I realize that I need to get advice face to face.  Not to mention I ate some ice cream with hazelnut spread and almond butter, which is delicious by the way.  I tried everything I know to do when it comes to binging, but to no avail.  I just feel so bad but it is too late now.  I can do better next time, but when should I begin?  Should I begin now?  Should I begin tomorrow?

Monday, October 7, 2013

Binge Eating help

I have a confession to make.  I want to get off of the roller coaster I have been on.  I have issues that I don't know that I have.  Lately, I have been having issues with binging and that is depressing.  I am saddened that I cannot control myself.  I use myfitnesspal as a food journal and a weight loss guide.  I am so embarrassed by the food that I am ashamed to log on.  I would feel horrible adding all of those foods that I ate.  I wish I could eat the food and pretend to at least myself that I could carry the calories on to the next day.  I am having difficulty with binging and staying in control.  I need help and I don't know who to turn to for help.  I feel lonely right now and I need to be accountable for my actions. 

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Sunday the sixth

I ate a lot of food and it isn't even dinner time yet.  I should have laid off of the desert, at least until later.  Other than that, I did well in the other snacks and other meals.  I binged somewhat but I don't feel guilty about what I ate however.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Done well

I have done well yet I realize that I need to lessen or cut out the processed foods.  I really enjoyed cooking today.  That felt good to do that.  I rather that I eat real food.  I have PCOS and processed foods are supposed to be really not so good for me.  In fact, all of us should either avoid or lessen the processed foods we consume.  I need to learn to eat healthier so that I could be healthier.  However, I feel good that I did not eat too much today.

Friday, October 4, 2013


I feel like I may have to start all over again.  I feel like giving up.  At least I thought I feel like giving up.  I was on a 30 minute food binge.  Sure it felt great to eat delicious food, but that was not something that I chose to do.  I feel like giving up.  I felt guilty.  I thought pre-planning my meals but binging has made it worse.  I am not proud of feeling so guilty but guilt is a sign of a good conscience.  So there is hope for me yet.

Thursday, October 3, 2013


I am not sure now if planning my meals even work.  It doesn't help with the binging problem that I still have.  I am struggling to eat in moderation.  How to deal with or rather, overcome this struggle, I need help with that.  I need help in making the right choices for me.  I am so tired of all of this.  I have decided to be more mindful of what I eat even with or without a meal plan.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Planning my meals

I have planned my meals today and I hope to continue doing so.  I believe that it is something that I needed to do after yesterday.  I did a lot more than binge yesterday.  I am not sure, but I know that I ate more than 3500 calories yesterday.  That is way too much.  A pound of food?  Wow.  It is amazing that I have eaten that much.  I don't feel guilty per se but I do feel like I am doing better and I needed to make changes.  I needed to take action, and I did just that.  That way, I will be able to track my meals so that I can better learn to eat in moderation.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Yesterday and today

Yesterday was a good day.  I have told my doctor about my struggle with eating in moderation.  I don't eat enough fruits and vegetables and my carb consumption is too large.  I admit that I do indeed consume too many sweets, processed foods, and carbs, and not enough servings of fruits and vegetables.  Today is a cheat day, but I think I overdid it.  I just hope I don't gain so much weight and eat so much food that I won't be able to bounce back.  I think that I will have to not worry so much, be less anxious and stressed-out, and plan out my meals beforehand.