Friday, October 31, 2014

What I did today...10/31/14

I ate pretty much everything I can lay my hands on.  The foods were all unhealthy and I ate some of those foods in the name of hunger.  I am not ashamed since I have consumed all of those foods.  However, I should have been more careful and listed what I ate.  I ate such unhealthy foods as cookies, candies, and ice cream.  Sure they tasted good, but they are not good for me.  Today is another lesson learned.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

What I ate 10/30/14

Roast Beef Sandwich

Lean Pork Chops

Snack 1

Snack 2
Ice Cream Bar

Snack 3

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

This is what I consumed today, 10/29/14

Oatmeal with raisins

Lean pork
Mashed potatoes

Lean Pork
Mashed Potatoes

Snack 1
Peanut butter

Snack 2

Snack 3

Monday, October 27, 2014

My biggest fears

I have a confession to make: I fear failure.  Every time I consume healthy food I wonder if that would be healthy.  In short, did I consume enough fruits or enough vegetables or whole grains?  The truth is, I don't eat enough fruits during the day.  I don't add vegetables to every meal.  Whole grains are just hard to come by because I buy them, yet I don't eat them.  I have learned a valuable lesson about my food intake.  I struggle with the same thing over and over and over again.  The truth is, I have made little to no progress.  That is where the poor choices come in.  I consume preserves, turkey bacon, and honey wheat toast.  Sure, it was good, but was it healthy?  That is the real question.  I have another issue and that is portion control.  I don't eat in moderation and everyday is a lesson learned.

I am just struggling with losing weight period so not only am I struggling with my food intake, I am also struggling with diet and exercise.  This was because I lack motivation and wisdom.  I am not wise when it comes to the problems that I have.  I am overweight and diabetic.  I also have low self-esteem, which could either work for me or against me.  What I really need is guidance and a sense of self-worth.  I also need a sense of direction, which is the root of my food issues.  I love food too much and now, I realize that food no longer loves me.

It is as if I am losing weight for the wrong reasons.  I have all of the reasons in the world to lose weight and get healthy.  Sadly I had no motivation.  Saturday was a wake up call.  I cannot live life the way that I have been living.  I will not give myself a pep talk, nor will I whine about my issues and end up procrastinating.  Sadly, that is all I do.  What I want is a change in mindset.  What I don't want is to live in a continuous cycle of poor eating habits, no exercise, and low self-esteem.  Those are the issues that I have to deal with for I have made little progress.  All I want is to make progress, but I don't know where to begin.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Looking for help

I am looking for help.  I cannot afford to consume large meals if I were to consume no more than 1600 calories or so.  This is a way for me to consume more fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.  That is a good thing.  This is because of the simple fact is that I eat a poor diet and I have gained weight.  I unfortunately have no real set goals in mind other than that.  What I ate today wasn't healthy but not unhealthy.  I consumed a peanut butter and preserves sandwich, macaroni and chicken for lunch, and now I hope to consume something healthier for dinner.  I finally realized that eating healthy is harder than I thought.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Saturday musing

I ate way too much cake and ice cream.  That is what I consumed today.  Unfortunately, that is all I can say for now.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Unhealthy fare

No entry for this day since this is one of those days that I am not proud to have made any entries today.  I may have consumed over 3000 calories worth of unhealthy foods today.  That would go a long way into gaining even more weight.  It is time for me to care about what I ate.  Sometimes, I feel like giving up.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Summary for 10/23/14

Here is what I consumed today:

Blueberry bagel with cream cheese
Bacon (2 slices)
Hash brown potatoes

Pancakes with syrup and margarine
Turkey bacon
Sweetened powdered drink

Chicken and Dumpling Soup
Turkey Bacon

Reduced fat peanut butter (3 Tbsp)

Maybe I should write down the time in which I consume my foods.  This is over 2100 calories I consumed today.  If I could make improvements on today's menu, I would have consumed more fruit and vegetables, less powdered drink and butter, and laid off of the margarine.  It is too late to make any changes for today.  However, I did start off well and the food choices overall were pretty good.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Today is 10/22/14

I had two servings of chili with the wheat spaghetti.  I do wonder how fattening my food is today. Something I wonder about is if I also don't consume food that is healthy enough.  That is something that I admit has got to change.  I also had yogurt, which is a healthy breakfast.  However, eating a healthy breakfast is not exactly a difficult thing for me to do.  I am grateful for all of the food that I consume.  I am just grateful that I eat enough to satisfy me through the course of a day.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

"My Food and Diet" Musings blog

Just because something is available doesn't mean I should buy it, share it, or consume it.  That is the problem that I have had today.  Well, that is a problem that I have had most of my life.  I consumed over 2800 calories which is far more than what I have consumed on average.  It doesn't help that that is what I mention earlier.  I have no clue not only what to eat sometimes, but how to eat.  Now is not the time to beat up myself however.  I do that too often.  None of my meals are what I would consider healthy.  Either the portions were not healthy or the food items themselves were not healthy.  I don't feel guilty per se, but my blog is a production more or less musings about my food intake, my views on diet, and about my calorie intake.  I believe that this blog has been helpful in that regard.

Monday, October 20, 2014

It finally hit me.

I need some wisdom and encouragement.  Sure I consumed an orange and some peas today, but I have seen and noticed that my diet isn't healthy.  In fact, I haven't changed.  I cannot live like this anymore.  I consume a mix of healthy and unhealthy foods as well as sweets and sugary drinks.  That is not good because of the lack of good nutritional value and it adds unnecessary calories.  Well, that is exactly what I did today.  Sadly, it took me a while, but I finally got to the point where change is needed.  It starts with me.  I now know where I need to begin.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

How I eat

I consumed more at dinner in one sitting than I have during the other two meals.  Interestingly enough, I actually did consume a light breakfast and a day without snacks.  I actually heard that I am supposed to have a heavy breakfast, a slightly lighter lunch, and a light dinner.  I usually consume a light breakfast, a heavy lunch, and a slightly heavier dinner.  I have lost weight, but I wonder if I were to lose weight by eating like a queen, lunch like regular folk, and dinner like a peasant.  Forgive me for my elitist wording, but I am sure it would help me to continue to lose more weight.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Good and bad of today's diet

I did not follow the proposed menu for today.  I am disappointed in myself.  However, the amount of calories I consume are much less than I thought.  It has been less than 2000 calories today.  Maybe it is best that I don't consume 2 burgers, fries, and tossed salad with a whole lot of sugary drinks and punch in one setting.  It doesn't help that I did not consume any breakfast or snacks.  Well, maybe next time?  Will there be a next time for me?

Friday, October 17, 2014

Dieting with caution

I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome which is nothing to play with.  There is a connection to blood pressure, cholesterol, and insulin issues.  I am also a diabetic, which I have been diagnosed with. Today, I have consumed more fruits and vegetables today than I have had in a few days.  I finally realized that I have to be actually cautious with whatever I consume.  I am at an age where it could or will be harder to lose weight.  I have also read, that because of my age, it could improve.  That is good news.  But I wonder if that would be the case even with the poor diet.  Those are questions that I need to ask myself on a daily basis.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

I have made some unwise decisions lately

Let see, I haven't learned much since I turned 40.  For the past two days, I have eaten some great food.  It was fattening chocolate this and chocolate that.  It was from brownies to cookies.  Yep.  I am on an unhealthy chocolate fix.  However, today I didn't consume any chocolate.  I consumed over 800 calories worth of fried chicken.  I have consumed however just over 2100 calories, which isn't so bad considering my calorie limit.  I realize that I am too fixated on weight numbers instead of my health, which is not a wise thing to do.  Maybe creating an actual menu instead of a proposed one is what I need to do.  I feel like I am going in circles.  I am a diabetic.  That is not something I need to do.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Re-inventing my diet regimen

I ate a rather poor diet today.  I usually tend to consume poor diets whenever I decide to go to a convenient store for brownies and candies.  I did in fact go to a convenient store and purchased those items.  The problem is that not only did I feel no guilt from eating those items, but I ate unhealthy when I don't mean to.  This was a case of low self-esteem and just giving up on myself.  I lost weight, but I am losing it the wrong way.  Now it is time to lose it the right way.  Consuming sweet potato pudding and bowls of macaroni and cheese are not going to help.  So, where should I begin?  At breakfast time and snack time, I tend to consume fruits and vegetables and dairy foods, which I did.  I start off well during the day, when I actually eat breakfast.  I am not usually hungry during those times, but eating breakfast, even an apple, jump starts the day.  That is the usual advice for breakfast. Should I eat larger breakfasts, lighter lunches, and even lighter dinners with three snacks?  How should I eat during the course of a day?  Where should I begin?

Monday, October 13, 2014

Insight needs to improve

I have consumed over 2100 calories.  I ate way too much greasy mac and cheese.  However, no matter how good that was, I lack the foresight that I should have when it comes to the food that I eat. I hope to have better insight.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

It is amazing !?!

I have consumed more than 2800 calories today.  Luckily, I ate much of it in fruits and vegetables and lean meats.  I finally realize that there is a link between diet and anxiety.  I have been anxious for a long time and I have often wondered if I weren't anxious, would I still have issues with poor dieting.  So I also wonder if there is some correlation between how I feel about myself and diet and anxiety.  I had struggled with that most of my life since I have been bipolar and anxious most of my life.  I have PCOS, which means that I will not only have to deal with physical symptoms but emotional symptoms as well.  I will have to be extra careful, extra watchful, and work extra hard to reach my goals.  Eating 2800 + calories would at least be the opposite of that.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Sugar levels

Today I consumed more than 2400 calories.  That is more than enough calories than I am used to consuming.  The truth is, however, that my blood sugar has gotten lower.  In other words, in my house, "my sugar fell".  I feel better now that my sugar levels are okay now, but I will have to test and see though.

Friday, October 10, 2014


I couldn't be more proud.  I have consumed healthier foods today, including fruits and vegetables.  I didn't realize that there is a correlation between food and self-esteem.  There is definitely the case between them today.  I have a problem though,  I need to consume more healthy fiber quality foods. That would be something I could be even more proud of.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Not proud

Dear Heavenly Father,

It isn't very often that I pray about the foods that I ate.  I got greedy and ate too much unhealthy foods and not enough of the healthy foods.  I ask for Your forgiveness for my lack of faith.  I ask that You would increase my faith so that I will receive guidance when it comes to my health.  I believe that nourishing the mind, body, and spirit are important and unfortunately, I have not done a good job in neither lately.  Help me.  Help me with my lack of faith.  Strengthen my faith and I trust You in all things.  Remind me that I have health issues and whatever I eat or drink may or will have a positive or negative influence on my health.  I know that life is too short but my health at times I feel is getting worse.  It is partially because of my poor diet.  How do I change my eating habits?  I need guidance and my need help.  I also thank You in advance for answering my prayer.

In Jesus' name,


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

What I actually ate 10/8/14

Here is what I consumed



Sloppy Joe wraps

Snack 1

I would like to say that it is a little more than 1800 calories because I have consumed a ton of cereal today.  I ate healthier than I have before.  However, I need to follow the proposed plans that I have made.  Therefore, I would be able to consume healthier foods.  Sure the cereal is healthy.  However, cereal is a processed food and processed foods are foods that I should cut back on or at least try to avoid.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

A reminder to eat healthier

Eating candy and pizza and no fruits or vegetables are not a good diet at all.  I need to remind myself better.  I have drawn a banana but apparently I need to at least look at the banana every time I plan on eating something.  I have healthy foods in the refrigerator so why do I waste food?  That is the question I need to answer for myself.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Dietary changes at 40

Despite the fact that I admit to eating pizza and other unhealthy foods, I consumed some fruit today. I feel great at 40, but I realize that I have to eat even better.  It is hard to cut out the processed foods because it seems like most foods are processed.  My question is is there a link between age, PCOS, and other factors?  I am just concerned about my health and I do have a tendency to procrastinate.  I would like to change that, too.  I have been told that I need to adjust my diet because it will be harder to lose weight at my age now than I did in my teens, 20s, and 30s.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

I wish I ate better than I did

I consumed more calories today than I meant to.  Now I am concerned about gaining weight.  I wanted to lose 1-2 lbs a week.  I have a feeling that I will gain 1-2 lbs or more tomorrow.  I tend to weigh myself between 6:30 and 9 AM.  I have not exercised much either.  Now is the time.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

What I have learned today 10/4/14

I have realized that fruits and vegetables are what I needed.  I have been complaining that I don't consume enough fruits and vegetables and too many starches and sweets.  Well, I consumed yogurt with fruits today as well as desserts.  Lately the desserts have made me ill.  I have been nauseated due to the cake I ate.  Maybe I ate too much of it.  Anyways, I am doing better as of right now as I am typing this.  Apple juice and yogurt with raspberries seem to be a great dinner.  It is nutritious and taste good.  I realize that is what I wanted and needed.  It is so sad that I waste food especially fruits and vegetables.  What is the use if I throw them out and I purchase them for a reason?

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Musing for 10/2/14

I am doing well.  I have consumed less than 1900 calories today.  However, I consumed most of my calories after 8pm, including crackers and ice cream.  I believe that I can and will be consuming more fruits and vegetables.  I have a reminder to consume those since I need to eat more fruits and vegetables in my diet.  However, I don't feel guilty about what I consumed.  However, I made the mistake of buying and consuming food that would trigger a much larger appetite than I mean to.