Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Rejoined WW today

Today I am beginning to hit my stride when it comes to my weight loss.  I have decided to rejoin Weight Watchers.  I just hope I know what I am doing.  I have found myself confused the last two times.  I was frustrated and stressed out the past two times as well.  I have learned a lot lately and I am learning how to eat healthy.  However, the servings that I have consumed today have been more than they should have been, namely the dried fruit-trail mix combination.  I learned next time to consume breakfast daily.  I wonder if it is the most important meal.  I plan to commit to this plan for at least a year.  I will wish myself luck.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Healthy lifestyle

definition of lifestyle: the way in which a person or group lives.

How to apply the words healthy and lifestyle.  A way one lives so that they would be fit or in good ship.  So a healthy lifestyle would involve being and living and learning how to do, think, and apply things so that one can be fit.  I wonder if I could do that, living in a way that is healthy.  A lack of fitness and "declining" health would not constitute a healthy lifestyle and that is how I have been living.  In fact, I have spent time consuming unhealthy foods today such as desserts and starches with gravy.  Sure beans are healthy as well as turkey but that would not balance out a healthy diet.  To me, eating healthy is difficult and so is overall living and being healthy.  Putting the cake and ice cream down is so hard, but I realize that losing weight and remaining healthy is even harder, but it will be worth it.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Dessert lover

Right now, I am having a stomach ache.  Today I have had two of them.  I realize that I have been eating the wrong kinds of food.  This Christmas has seen more dessert eaten than at a bakery.  I have had cakes, cookies, pies, pudding, and candy.  I wonder what other desserts did they have in store.  If only I like to consume more fruits and vegetables.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Wisdom when it comes to food and diet

I didn't make an entry yesterday because I felt I had nothing to write.  I feel the same way today.  The truth is, I ate mostly leftovers unless I added to them or "doctored" them up.  The Christmas and New Years day menus are all that I really have in the refrigerator.  I am here to write that with all of the money I spend per month, I need to learn how to budget.  I budget constantly but never stick to one. That is the problem.  I end up spending much more than I intend to and then I end up broke.  That is not what I want for myself.  The best thing to do is to set up a budget of healthy foods and prepare those foods in a healthy way.  It is even better to prepare foods ahead of time.  That would go a long way into how and what I eat and the benefits it would have on my health.

Friday, December 26, 2014

The Day After Christmas 2014

Ice Cream
Cake
Pie
Pudding
Candy
Macaroni and Cheese
Ham and Turkey
Stuffing with giblets
Marmalade and cranberry sauce

This is really what I did eat today.  I know it is a leftover dinner, but I do wonder why pasta tastes better on the second day than I do on the first.  The mac and cheese was delicious.  All I did was add more cheese, lol.  I tried to consume less food, but needless to say, I failed.  I am out of the ice cream but at least the cake is still here.  I may have gained weight from all of this but as stupid as it may sound, for now it is worth it.  I wish I had the strength and willpower to say no, however.  Maybe I will come January whenever I make my 2015 Resolution to lose weight.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Christmas menu

Here is what my proposed menu for the day:
Bread
Ice Cream
Cake
Pie
Pudding
Candy
Macaroni and Cheese
Collard Greens
Ham and Turkey
Rice and Gravy
Stuffing with giblets
Marmalade and cranberry sauce

I didn't consume all of this.  However, this is what I have cooked for dinner.  I had my mom's help of course.  Needless to say, I did a good job in cooking nearly all of the food.  Oh, I also had my share of ice cream as well.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

A reminder

I love ice cream so much I purchased two more boxes.  My mother mentioned that I am very good at stretching a dollar.  I didn't realize that I had that ability and I am thankful that she recognized that gift.  I am ever thankful that I have food to eat and that I can write about a food blog.  There are so many going to bed hungry.  I pray for provision so that no one will go to bed hungry.  Let us be reminded that it isn't just food, but love as well.  I know it sounds crazy, but we are to give, and not just receive.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

My love for ice cream

Alright, I had at least two cups of ice cream today.  The best thing is the taste.  The worst thing is the expanding waistline.  No matter what ice cream will always be my favorite dessert.  I cannot pinpoint why I love it so much, but I just do.  It has been like this for the past several years and only I realize that it has only been that long.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Three days before Christmas

Sometimes leftovers can be just as good if not, better, than first day food.  I am not so sure why that is, but it is the case with tomato casseroles, fruitcakes, and beans.  Interestingly enough, two out of three ain't bad.  I had that doctored up red beans and rice with roasted chicken would taste so good.  I am not sure if it is healthy in and of itself, but I believe that it is no less healthy than what I consumed today as far as sweets and comfort foods such as macaroni and cheese.  I was preparing foods 
for the past few days and it has worn me out, but I kept on going.  I have just frosted two cakes and topped them with nuts or coconuts, depending on the cake.  I also just ate some chopped walnuts which are at least a healthy snack.  So all that I have been eating are healthy snacks and fattening sweets and casseroles.  I wonder how many calories that would be.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

What I had today

I was thinking about brownies, yet I didn't have any today.  I did however, have some delicious oatmeal raisin cookies this morning.  They were small, yes, but they turned out well.  I don't believe that oatmeal raisin cookies are healthy but those are the ingredients that I have.  I wish that I brought some chocolate chips to think about it.

I also ate a lot of starch today such as sweet potatoes and red beans w/rice.  As a diabetic, starches are to be limited while fruits and vegetables should be eaten in a larger supply.  However, I can consume some lean meat, which is what I did today.  I roasted several chicken parts with lemon pepper and margarine.  However, maybe the margarine isn't such a good idea.  It would have been better if there were no butter or margarine and left unseasoned.


Thursday, December 18, 2014

My emotions in regards to food...

I tend to consume a light breakfast, which is  exactly what I did.  I had 2 slices of plain toast and an apple.  I I at least did not have to wonder why I ate what I ate.  The bread was wheat and apple was a fruit, so I don't feel guilty. In the past I have been writing how I feel.  In fact, I don't feel horrible mostly, but what I should do is spread my meals around. I ate roast beef with vegetables, lima beans, and some buttery sweet potato pudding.  It was a dinner that I cooked that I was proud of.  However, it was a meal that I should have spread of.  It would be nice if I were to eat three meals per day and a few snacks.  I don't care for calorie counts anymore, but I believe that something has to be done in order to eat healthy and lose weight. That is something that I have admit that I am not proud of doing.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Like I have been doing

I like I do everyday, ate a lot of food regardless of the amount of salt and sugar versus the number of fruits and vegetables that I have had.  There were the "good" days where I "behaved" myself.  Then there were the days that I ate poorly and didn't care.  Well, today I as a medium, not a happy medium but at a medium nevertheless.  What is worse: an entire can full of pineapples or a large breakfast containing fatty foods?Well neither of them sounded great but I realize that I no longer need to take anything concerning my diet, or lack of a set diet, for granted.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Today's menu 12/14/14

Breakfast: apple, coffee
Lunch: beef roast with potatoes and carrots, sweet potato
Dinner/Snack: peanut butter and jelly sandwich on wheat

This is what I have eaten for today.  I made no set menu for what I have consumed today.  I tend to eat what is available.  I should have planned what I ate as to have eaten healthier at each meal and snack.  However, I don't have any regrets over what I ate today.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

In moderation

Today, I was so hungry I could eat everything in the house.  it is all past tense.  Today I luckily consumed mostly healthy foods such as yogurt, fruit, and peanuts.  However, I have consumed a cup of peanuts, which is not good for my waistline.  That alone is worth almost 700 calories.  I believe that eating in moderation is the key. It is best to consume healthy foods in moderation.  However, I did not do the same thing today.  Maybe a proposed menu is a good thing.

Friday, December 12, 2014

My diet for today 12/12/14

I realize that my diet is quite poor as my breakfast consisted of chocolate bars, brownies, and a pepsi. That was before I did some exercise.  I am not sure how many calories was in the soda but at least it burned a few.  I also consumed yogurt, an apple, and later beef sausage, bread, mustard, and eggs.  I am not sure what I need to do right now, but counting calories would be a great start.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

My diet for today

I pretty much left out breakfast this morning.  I realize that during my physical therapy session I am reminded that I am overweight and that the desire to lose weight is getting greater.  It also doesn't help that I consumed leftovers, yogurt, and fries.  It is quite a variety however.  It does help that I have exercised today. I have been given a series of exercises to do.  It will go a long way into straightening my back and my core.  That is something that I need to be reminded of.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Bowtie mac and cheese

I have consumed bow tie mac and cheese.  I feel great because it tasted great.  I tried to dance today, but here is the thing: I am not a  professional dancer.  In fact, I am not a great dancer.  I guess movement is better than nothing.  

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Luck?

I wonder if cornbread is healthy.  I am not sure, but green beans certainly are.  For breakfast, I had unhealthy foods such as candy and cupcakes with a soda.  Yum.  But how will it affect my waistline and also the diabetes?  I am lucky in that I was told that I am improving.  However, I have my doubts. I am just lucky.  I only wish that luck doesn't play a role in this.

Monday, December 8, 2014

"Balancing" Things out

Today I ate strawberries but to "balance it out", so to speak. I consumed helping of fries and fried chicken strips.  I feel like I am doing well as far as physical changes.  However, I just consumed a cup of white seedless grapes, which is very good if one is hungry.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Having difficulty consuming a healthy diet

I just hope that my weight has come down today.  I wonder if that is the case despite my diet.  I consumed fried chicken breast fingers today.  They were the only things I ate for lunch.  I also had grapes and pudding for breakfast.  For a snack, I had a grilled cheese sandwich.  I do wonder now why my diet is so poor.  I have trouble with planning meals in advance and sticking to them.  That has been an issue that I have had for a long time now.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Today is 12/6/14

Having a lovely dessert like a banana pudding yogurt combination with a banana in between was a great combination yet I am not sure if it were great for my waistline.  I weighed  myself this morning and I admit that my weight goes up and down.  This time, it was up.  I bet that by the time this weekend is over, my weight will be done.  I wonder if that has to do with the Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  But it could be something else entirely.

Friday, December 5, 2014

Light breakfast and not all was light

For breakfast, I had a banana and some pudding.  Breakfast is usually light so today was no exception.  This morning I wanted to buy a soda but I decided not to.  After the session, I realize how much weight I needed to lose.  Now I really want to lose the extra weight for myself.  How to go about it, I have no idea.  I have a desire to lose the weight.  However, eating a bowlful of crackers for lunch does not help. Nor is drinking a lot of sweetened kool-aid as a drink, which is what I did.  My snack consisted of a whole bowl of pasta and meat sauce with cheese and a grilled cheese sandwich. My dinner also consisted of a whole bowlful of pasta, cheese, and spaghetti sauce.  I realize that as much as I love cheese, I consume way too much of it.  I do in fact need to eat in moderation.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Menu for 12/4/14

I have lost 5 pounds within the past 2 weeks.  How did I do it?  I have no clue.  I did not diet.  I did not exercise...much.  I just ate and did light exercise.  Anyways, here is what I consumed today:

Breakfast
Chocolate and Banana

Lunch
Pasta with Cheese and Meat Sauce

Dinner
Pasta with Cheese and Meat Sauce

Snack 1
Crackers

Snack 2
Crackers

Snack 3
Crackers

Snack 4
Cereal with 2% milk

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Tired and stressed out

I just wanted to take a break yesterday.  I wasn't being lazy but there are times when one is sick of the status quo.  That means I have to do this and do that.  Sometimes one has to just rest and take a breather every once in a while.  I didn't feel like I feel behind.  I admit that what I would like is a brownie and some ice cream, but I cannot say that I have large quantities of either.  From consuming chili burgers and fries to crackers, I have to learn how to eat moderation, no matter how hard it is. Sometimes at the risk of falling behind, one has to let it go.  Sometimes letting it go and resting is far better than what one thinks.  It is not hard to catch up when one is not as stressed.  I admit that I get stressed out and I do eat a lot but I have wondered if there is a way to deal with eating so much while dealing with stress.  I didn't realize this until yesterday.  I began to see things clearly.  There is nothing wrong with eating mac n' cheese every once in a blue moon, but not a whole pot like I did yesterday. I do wonder if  stress does have something to do with my eating habits or something else.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Leftover musings

Despite what my waistline has said this weekend, the scale says something entirely different.  I don't know how I did it, but I lost a few pounds since last week.  It was a stark contrast to what I thought I was going to weigh.  Today all I consumed were cornbread biscuits, popcorn, and turkey.  I didn't eat any breakfast today, so depending on the how one sees a glass (half empty or half full),  that might be a good thing or a bad thing.  I have to admit that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Maybe that is part of the problem.  My mind knows one thing about breakfast but my mind says something else entirely, if that makes sense.  That I believe goes to the root of my frustration with trying to lose weight, despite the fact that I have not even tried despite losing the weight.  But that no-try weight loss will not do me good as I am approaching midlife and have PCOS with diabetes.  I have not that desire to lose weight.  Thankfully I have regained it.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Thanksgiving leftovers

For the past 2 days, I realize that the ham will be gone soon and so will the pie.  Sure it was delicious. However, my waistline says something else entirely.  Right now my stomach hurts.  I am not sure if it is the pie, the mashed potatoes, or the turkey, or the ham.  Okay, it may be all of the above plus the coffee and the water.  Since I drank the water however, I began to feel better.  After this weekend, my plan is to consume healthier foods and consume all foods in moderation.  That has always been more of a goal of mine.  I just don't like the idea of dieting.  It helps to count calories, but on the other hand, even counting calories can be a chore.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thanksgiving food and diet reflection

Here is the tea, which I drank quite a bit of.

I ate a large Thanksgiving feast.  It wasn't a meal.  It was a feast.  I had not only a turkey but the usual Sunday fare aside from sweet potato pie.  Pink cloud is an interesting food.  It isn't technically a dessert but can be eaten as one.  This Thanksgiving should be a time not just of great food, but making sure that that good foods doesn't expand my waistline, at least not that much.  I realize that I need to take the time to realize the effects of Thanksgiving dinner on my waistline as well as my taste buds.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

The day before Thanksgiving

The answer is no . I will not give up.  Here is what I ate.

Biscuits
Bacon
Peaches
Green Beans

Yep, that was all I consumed today, as well as a whole of water.  Since today is the day before Thanksgiving, I tend to eat light.  Thanksgiving, however, is a day where I tend to consume anything but light foods.


Monday, November 24, 2014

Should i Give Up?



I feel like I should.  However, I do something so stupid.  I am a person who doesn't wish to quit.  I really don't want to give up.  I am just tired.  Am I really 40, fat, and fed up?  Could it be that life is passing me by?  I know it makes no sense whether or not I should give up.  Eating two bags of popcorn will not help me lose weight, especially when one of them has added butter.  That to me is a symbol of my wanting to give up.  I have grown tired of logging in everything that I have eaten and all of what I drink during the course of a day.  Sometimes being fat is too much to bear.  Also, being tired is even more.  Should I give up?  No I should not give up, because I am ever hopeful.  Eating loaves of bread, chicken, and white rice would also not constitute a healthy diet either.  Sometimes, I cannot take anymore.  Other times I just wish to get started.  I want to say what is a girl to do, yet in times like these, the answer is no.  I will not give up.  I am too fixated on losing weight, true.  I have done little or nothing to truly change. It is time to begin.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

In denial or just lazy?

Today, I found myself loving bread.  I went from loving peanut butter and jelly to toast and preserves to just slices of bread.  I didn't any fruits and vegetables.  I am not healthy and I have been a healthy eater lately.  I tend to eat whatever is available.  I realize that I have healthy foods in the house, but my eating habits are poor.  I have no real desire to change, which I know myself makes no sense. What is wrong with me?  I am obese.  I weigh almost 300 lbs.  I have never weighed that much in my entire life except for the last few years.  There were times when I have given up.  I have been willing to change, but I don't know how.  Sadly, I have no desire to change to the detriment of my health. I am not in denial or anything like that, but it still scares me.  I am clueless and fed up, yet seem okay with my poor eating habits.  I am confused.  How do I get past this mindset and not just start over? I just want to start from here and just do better next time.  Help me to balance things out.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

I gave up....today

I basically gave up on myself.  I basically don't wish to gain weight due to health problems at all.  All I consumed today was a large breakfast of sausage, bacon, biscuits, eggs, and grits.  While it tasted good, I am not sure if it was healthy or not.  Also I drank caffeinated coffee, though I heard and read about the benefits of coffee.  I realize that I won't lose a pound that way.  However, I also realize that I won't gain any weight this way either.  My metabolism is kinda funny that way.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Nov 21 musing

I am ashamed of what I did yesterday.  I ate everything, or rather, everything.  Most of the food was not healthy nor nutritious.  I should have known better.  Now I know what it means to watch what I eat.  I often fail to do that sometimes.  I have no excuse.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Cliches ironically speak the truth

Today was a disappointing day overall.  The food was certainly good but still, I sometimes don't always think about what to eat during the course of a day and the effects every bite would have on my health.  Fried chicken tastes good, but what is healthier is baked or broiled chicken.  I wish there was a next time wouldn't be so cliched but it is a lesson to learn here.  I realize how much I hate saying that too.  Even though they are cliched, it is the truth.  Sometimes the truth hurts.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Today's entry 11/18/14

The truth is, I overate.  This just means that I have eaten and drank over the calorie limit.   I followed, or at least try to follow, the proposed menu.  I almost did with the chicken tomato stew.  This stew was a thick stew with chicken, tomatoes, and loads of vegetables such as corn, green bell peppers, onions, and lima beans.  I don't feel guilty about what I ate, yet I realize that I should have not consumed the white rice, which is not as healthy as brown rice.  I guess there will be tomorrow.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Entry for 11/17/14

So the bad news is that I gained some weight.  Granted, it wasn't substantial, but I gained weight. Since this morning I have consumed many fruits and vegetables such as beans, oranges, stewed vegetables, asparagus and sweet peas.  It is not often that I consume fruits and vegetables in such a large amount.  Therefore, I am proud of myself today.  I have consumed at least 7 or 8 servings of fruit and vegetables.  So far, I have consumed 1426 calories today.  I have just consumed about 1.5 cup of beans just now.  I have always wanted to consumed more fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. I don't feel guilty about what I ate today overall but I was not perfect as I consumed sweetened corn flakes with reduced fat milk.  That I admit was not healthy.  I have learned from this as I wish I have eaten either unsweetened corn flakes or some brown rice.  But it is too late to cry over spilled milk.


Sunday, November 16, 2014

Journal Entry for 11/16/14

Breakfast
Toast with Preserves
Orange

Lunch
Roast London Broil with Potatoes and Carrots
Macaroni and Cheese
Green Beans


Dinner
Corn flakes with 2% milk

Snack 1
Peanut butter and jelly on white


Snack 2
Corn flakes with 2% milk

Snack 3
Sweetened corn flakes with 2% milk

Snack 4
White Toast with jelly
2 sausage links

Number of calories: 2537

I have met nearly all of the health requirements except for the healthy foods I should have eaten. However, 4 servings is quite good considering the number of calories I consumed.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Journal entry for 11/15/14

Breakfast
Yogurt

Lunch
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Dinner
Peas
Sausage
Toast and jelly

Snack 1
Wheat bread

Snack 2
Cereal with 2% milk

Snack 3
Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Snack 4
Orange

Friday, November 14, 2014

Journal entry for 11/14/14

Breakfast
Peanut butter crackers
Medium Apple

Lunch
Blueberry Patch Yogurt

Dinner
Turkey sandwich-plain
French fries

Snack 1
Orange

Snack 2
Popcorn

Snack 3
Peanut butter crackers

Snack 4
Grilled cheese sandwich

Snack 5
Wheat bread

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Improved eating habits

So far, things have gotten butter.  Things are not perfect, but have gotten better.  I wonder if there is a link between procrastination, self-esteem issues, and food.  There may be emotional eating on my part.  However, I consumed almost 5 fruits and vegetables ranging from apples to pineapples, to cabbage.  However, I still have a ways to go with my food intake.  I am still not sure if I should change how my entries are written.  I mentioned that I have gotten a bit lazy with them and I would like to change that.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Entry for 11/8/14

Here is what I consumed today

Yogurt and more yogurt
Fruits: apple, banana, grapes
Biscuits
Peas and Rice
Raisins
Peanuts
Baked chicken

Maybe I should list what I eat more often.  Then maybe I would get an idea about not only what I ate, but also how I ate.  It has been said that those who write in a journal tend to lose more weight and keep it off.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Today's "menu"

Here is what I consumed today

Yogurt and more yogurt
Fruits: apple, bananas, strawberries, and grapes
French fries
Turkey and cheese sandwich
Raisin Bran cereal with reduced fat milk

I wish I could eat the kind of food that is like other people on a healthy diet.  How do I get over the struggle that comes with eating the way that I do?  I would like to do that.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Struggle and how to deal with it

I have struggled with food my entire life.  Today I am writing to tell the reader how I really feel.  I have been having low self-esteem for years now and maybe that has been the root cause of my eating lately.  However, that issue has nothing to do with my overeating this past week.  It is all about taking my health for granted.  I consumed healthy as well as unhealthy food.  It will take a while to list what I have eaten today.  I admit that bacon is not a health food and nor are sugary drinks good for me as well.  That is some of what I have consumed today.  There are times when I feel there is no hope in sight.  I am having a hard time listening and I wonder if I should entertain other avenues to lose weight.  I wonder if that will help me cover my issues with food and weight loss in general.  I could say only time will tell but there are times when I feel I don't have much time.  This is one of those times.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Musing for 11/4/14

Let me see...

I started off well, but I suddenly ended up eating anything my hand could find such as cookies, ice cream, and donuts.  I ended up just feeling discouraged about it.  What really happened?  Why did I make such bad choices?  It is hard to believe, but it was so sudden.  I just hope that I won't overeat like this tomorrow.

Monday, November 3, 2014

No change..but I will change just for me.

I will change, but for me only.  My health is and my overall quality of life are too important for me.  I finally have that as a goal.  I will apply it to myself.  I have made no changes since Friday and I have been eating unhealthy foods.  I recall that even though I love foods, they don't always love me.  I do know that there are foods that do love me and it is time for me to get my physical and emotional house in order.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Unhealthy weekend

I don't know what is going on with me.  I have been feeling anxious lately so that may have something to do with it.  I consumed a lot of unhealthy foods for the past 3 days.  I don't feel guilty about it, but maybe I should do a better job of tracking my food intake.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

No change

I did the same thing I did yesterday.  I ate a lot of unhealthy foods and drank soda.  I need help since I have been overwhelmed lately.  I hope to eat better, meaning consuming foods in moderation tomorrow.  I will write about what I ate like I do almost daily.

Friday, October 31, 2014

What I did today...10/31/14

I ate pretty much everything I can lay my hands on.  The foods were all unhealthy and I ate some of those foods in the name of hunger.  I am not ashamed since I have consumed all of those foods.  However, I should have been more careful and listed what I ate.  I ate such unhealthy foods as cookies, candies, and ice cream.  Sure they tasted good, but they are not good for me.  Today is another lesson learned.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

What I ate 10/30/14

Breakfast
Roast Beef Sandwich

Lunch
Lean Pork Chops

Snack 1
Peaches

Snack 2
Ice Cream Bar

Snack 3
Popcorn


Wednesday, October 29, 2014

This is what I consumed today, 10/29/14

Breakfast
Oatmeal with raisins

Lunch
Lean pork
Mashed potatoes
Broccoli

Dinner
Lean Pork
Mashed Potatoes
Broccoli

Snack 1
Peanut butter

Snack 2
Carrots

Snack 3
Peaches


Monday, October 27, 2014

My biggest fears

I have a confession to make: I fear failure.  Every time I consume healthy food I wonder if that would be healthy.  In short, did I consume enough fruits or enough vegetables or whole grains?  The truth is, I don't eat enough fruits during the day.  I don't add vegetables to every meal.  Whole grains are just hard to come by because I buy them, yet I don't eat them.  I have learned a valuable lesson about my food intake.  I struggle with the same thing over and over and over again.  The truth is, I have made little to no progress.  That is where the poor choices come in.  I consume preserves, turkey bacon, and honey wheat toast.  Sure, it was good, but was it healthy?  That is the real question.  I have another issue and that is portion control.  I don't eat in moderation and everyday is a lesson learned.

I am just struggling with losing weight period so not only am I struggling with my food intake, I am also struggling with diet and exercise.  This was because I lack motivation and wisdom.  I am not wise when it comes to the problems that I have.  I am overweight and diabetic.  I also have low self-esteem, which could either work for me or against me.  What I really need is guidance and a sense of self-worth.  I also need a sense of direction, which is the root of my food issues.  I love food too much and now, I realize that food no longer loves me.

It is as if I am losing weight for the wrong reasons.  I have all of the reasons in the world to lose weight and get healthy.  Sadly I had no motivation.  Saturday was a wake up call.  I cannot live life the way that I have been living.  I will not give myself a pep talk, nor will I whine about my issues and end up procrastinating.  Sadly, that is all I do.  What I want is a change in mindset.  What I don't want is to live in a continuous cycle of poor eating habits, no exercise, and low self-esteem.  Those are the issues that I have to deal with for I have made little progress.  All I want is to make progress, but I don't know where to begin.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Looking for help

I am looking for help.  I cannot afford to consume large meals if I were to consume no more than 1600 calories or so.  This is a way for me to consume more fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.  That is a good thing.  This is because of the simple fact is that I eat a poor diet and I have gained weight.  I unfortunately have no real set goals in mind other than that.  What I ate today wasn't healthy but not unhealthy.  I consumed a peanut butter and preserves sandwich, macaroni and chicken for lunch, and now I hope to consume something healthier for dinner.  I finally realized that eating healthy is harder than I thought.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Saturday musing

I ate way too much cake and ice cream.  That is what I consumed today.  Unfortunately, that is all I can say for now.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Unhealthy fare

No entry for this day since this is one of those days that I am not proud to have made any entries today.  I may have consumed over 3000 calories worth of unhealthy foods today.  That would go a long way into gaining even more weight.  It is time for me to care about what I ate.  Sometimes, I feel like giving up.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Summary for 10/23/14

Here is what I consumed today:

Breakfast
Blueberry bagel with cream cheese
Bacon (2 slices)
Hash brown potatoes

Lunch
Pancakes with syrup and margarine
Turkey bacon
Sweetened powdered drink

Dinner
Chicken and Dumpling Soup
Orange
Turkey Bacon

Snack
Reduced fat peanut butter (3 Tbsp)

Maybe I should write down the time in which I consume my foods.  This is over 2100 calories I consumed today.  If I could make improvements on today's menu, I would have consumed more fruit and vegetables, less powdered drink and butter, and laid off of the margarine.  It is too late to make any changes for today.  However, I did start off well and the food choices overall were pretty good.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Today is 10/22/14

I had two servings of chili with the wheat spaghetti.  I do wonder how fattening my food is today. Something I wonder about is if I also don't consume food that is healthy enough.  That is something that I admit has got to change.  I also had yogurt, which is a healthy breakfast.  However, eating a healthy breakfast is not exactly a difficult thing for me to do.  I am grateful for all of the food that I consume.  I am just grateful that I eat enough to satisfy me through the course of a day.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

"My Food and Diet" Musings blog

Just because something is available doesn't mean I should buy it, share it, or consume it.  That is the problem that I have had today.  Well, that is a problem that I have had most of my life.  I consumed over 2800 calories which is far more than what I have consumed on average.  It doesn't help that that is what I mention earlier.  I have no clue not only what to eat sometimes, but how to eat.  Now is not the time to beat up myself however.  I do that too often.  None of my meals are what I would consider healthy.  Either the portions were not healthy or the food items themselves were not healthy.  I don't feel guilty per se, but my blog is a production more or less musings about my food intake, my views on diet, and about my calorie intake.  I believe that this blog has been helpful in that regard.

Monday, October 20, 2014

It finally hit me.

I need some wisdom and encouragement.  Sure I consumed an orange and some peas today, but I have seen and noticed that my diet isn't healthy.  In fact, I haven't changed.  I cannot live like this anymore.  I consume a mix of healthy and unhealthy foods as well as sweets and sugary drinks.  That is not good because of the lack of good nutritional value and it adds unnecessary calories.  Well, that is exactly what I did today.  Sadly, it took me a while, but I finally got to the point where change is needed.  It starts with me.  I now know where I need to begin.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

How I eat

I consumed more at dinner in one sitting than I have during the other two meals.  Interestingly enough, I actually did consume a light breakfast and a day without snacks.  I actually heard that I am supposed to have a heavy breakfast, a slightly lighter lunch, and a light dinner.  I usually consume a light breakfast, a heavy lunch, and a slightly heavier dinner.  I have lost weight, but I wonder if I were to lose weight by eating like a queen, lunch like regular folk, and dinner like a peasant.  Forgive me for my elitist wording, but I am sure it would help me to continue to lose more weight.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Good and bad of today's diet

I did not follow the proposed menu for today.  I am disappointed in myself.  However, the amount of calories I consume are much less than I thought.  It has been less than 2000 calories today.  Maybe it is best that I don't consume 2 burgers, fries, and tossed salad with a whole lot of sugary drinks and punch in one setting.  It doesn't help that I did not consume any breakfast or snacks.  Well, maybe next time?  Will there be a next time for me?

Friday, October 17, 2014

Dieting with caution

I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome which is nothing to play with.  There is a connection to blood pressure, cholesterol, and insulin issues.  I am also a diabetic, which I have been diagnosed with. Today, I have consumed more fruits and vegetables today than I have had in a few days.  I finally realized that I have to be actually cautious with whatever I consume.  I am at an age where it could or will be harder to lose weight.  I have also read, that because of my age, it could improve.  That is good news.  But I wonder if that would be the case even with the poor diet.  Those are questions that I need to ask myself on a daily basis.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

I have made some unwise decisions lately

Let see, I haven't learned much since I turned 40.  For the past two days, I have eaten some great food.  It was fattening chocolate this and chocolate that.  It was from brownies to cookies.  Yep.  I am on an unhealthy chocolate fix.  However, today I didn't consume any chocolate.  I consumed over 800 calories worth of fried chicken.  I have consumed however just over 2100 calories, which isn't so bad considering my calorie limit.  I realize that I am too fixated on weight numbers instead of my health, which is not a wise thing to do.  Maybe creating an actual menu instead of a proposed one is what I need to do.  I feel like I am going in circles.  I am a diabetic.  That is not something I need to do.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Re-inventing my diet regimen

I ate a rather poor diet today.  I usually tend to consume poor diets whenever I decide to go to a convenient store for brownies and candies.  I did in fact go to a convenient store and purchased those items.  The problem is that not only did I feel no guilt from eating those items, but I ate unhealthy when I don't mean to.  This was a case of low self-esteem and just giving up on myself.  I lost weight, but I am losing it the wrong way.  Now it is time to lose it the right way.  Consuming sweet potato pudding and bowls of macaroni and cheese are not going to help.  So, where should I begin?  At breakfast time and snack time, I tend to consume fruits and vegetables and dairy foods, which I did.  I start off well during the day, when I actually eat breakfast.  I am not usually hungry during those times, but eating breakfast, even an apple, jump starts the day.  That is the usual advice for breakfast. Should I eat larger breakfasts, lighter lunches, and even lighter dinners with three snacks?  How should I eat during the course of a day?  Where should I begin?

Monday, October 13, 2014

Insight needs to improve

I have consumed over 2100 calories.  I ate way too much greasy mac and cheese.  However, no matter how good that was, I lack the foresight that I should have when it comes to the food that I eat. I hope to have better insight.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

It is amazing !?!

I have consumed more than 2800 calories today.  Luckily, I ate much of it in fruits and vegetables and lean meats.  I finally realize that there is a link between diet and anxiety.  I have been anxious for a long time and I have often wondered if I weren't anxious, would I still have issues with poor dieting.  So I also wonder if there is some correlation between how I feel about myself and diet and anxiety.  I had struggled with that most of my life since I have been bipolar and anxious most of my life.  I have PCOS, which means that I will not only have to deal with physical symptoms but emotional symptoms as well.  I will have to be extra careful, extra watchful, and work extra hard to reach my goals.  Eating 2800 + calories would at least be the opposite of that.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Sugar levels

Today I consumed more than 2400 calories.  That is more than enough calories than I am used to consuming.  The truth is, however, that my blood sugar has gotten lower.  In other words, in my house, "my sugar fell".  I feel better now that my sugar levels are okay now, but I will have to test and see though.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Prouder

I couldn't be more proud.  I have consumed healthier foods today, including fruits and vegetables.  I didn't realize that there is a correlation between food and self-esteem.  There is definitely the case between them today.  I have a problem though,  I need to consume more healthy fiber quality foods. That would be something I could be even more proud of.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Not proud

Dear Heavenly Father,

It isn't very often that I pray about the foods that I ate.  I got greedy and ate too much unhealthy foods and not enough of the healthy foods.  I ask for Your forgiveness for my lack of faith.  I ask that You would increase my faith so that I will receive guidance when it comes to my health.  I believe that nourishing the mind, body, and spirit are important and unfortunately, I have not done a good job in neither lately.  Help me.  Help me with my lack of faith.  Strengthen my faith and I trust You in all things.  Remind me that I have health issues and whatever I eat or drink may or will have a positive or negative influence on my health.  I know that life is too short but my health at times I feel is getting worse.  It is partially because of my poor diet.  How do I change my eating habits?  I need guidance and my need help.  I also thank You in advance for answering my prayer.


In Jesus' name,


Amen

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

What I actually ate 10/8/14

Here is what I consumed

Breakfast
Cereal

Lunch
Cereal

Dinner
Sloppy Joe wraps

Snack 1
Cereal

I would like to say that it is a little more than 1800 calories because I have consumed a ton of cereal today.  I ate healthier than I have before.  However, I need to follow the proposed plans that I have made.  Therefore, I would be able to consume healthier foods.  Sure the cereal is healthy.  However, cereal is a processed food and processed foods are foods that I should cut back on or at least try to avoid.


Tuesday, October 7, 2014

A reminder to eat healthier

Eating candy and pizza and no fruits or vegetables are not a good diet at all.  I need to remind myself better.  I have drawn a banana but apparently I need to at least look at the banana every time I plan on eating something.  I have healthy foods in the refrigerator so why do I waste food?  That is the question I need to answer for myself.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Dietary changes at 40

Despite the fact that I admit to eating pizza and other unhealthy foods, I consumed some fruit today. I feel great at 40, but I realize that I have to eat even better.  It is hard to cut out the processed foods because it seems like most foods are processed.  My question is is there a link between age, PCOS, and other factors?  I am just concerned about my health and I do have a tendency to procrastinate.  I would like to change that, too.  I have been told that I need to adjust my diet because it will be harder to lose weight at my age now than I did in my teens, 20s, and 30s.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

I wish I ate better than I did

I consumed more calories today than I meant to.  Now I am concerned about gaining weight.  I wanted to lose 1-2 lbs a week.  I have a feeling that I will gain 1-2 lbs or more tomorrow.  I tend to weigh myself between 6:30 and 9 AM.  I have not exercised much either.  Now is the time.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

What I have learned today 10/4/14

I have realized that fruits and vegetables are what I needed.  I have been complaining that I don't consume enough fruits and vegetables and too many starches and sweets.  Well, I consumed yogurt with fruits today as well as desserts.  Lately the desserts have made me ill.  I have been nauseated due to the cake I ate.  Maybe I ate too much of it.  Anyways, I am doing better as of right now as I am typing this.  Apple juice and yogurt with raspberries seem to be a great dinner.  It is nutritious and taste good.  I realize that is what I wanted and needed.  It is so sad that I waste food especially fruits and vegetables.  What is the use if I throw them out and I purchase them for a reason?

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Musing for 10/2/14

I am doing well.  I have consumed less than 1900 calories today.  However, I consumed most of my calories after 8pm, including crackers and ice cream.  I believe that I can and will be consuming more fruits and vegetables.  I have a reminder to consume those since I need to eat more fruits and vegetables in my diet.  However, I don't feel guilty about what I consumed.  However, I made the mistake of buying and consuming food that would trigger a much larger appetite than I mean to.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Hello, HBD to me 9/30/14

I drew a banana today as a reminder to make healthier food choices.  I admit that I didn't choose too many healthy food choices today.  Today I turn 40 which has nothing to do with it.  I feel so great today.  I didn't eat as much as I thought I did.  As a matter of fact, I consumed much less food than I thought I did.

Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast
Boost shake

Lunch
Chili
Toast with butter

Dinner
1/2 Stuffed pepper
Yellow rice
Roasted potatoes and carrots

Snack 1
Birthday cake and ice cream


Monday, September 29, 2014

Menu and musings 9/29/14

Here is what I actually consumed today:
Breakfast
Toast and Jelly

Lunch
Toast with margarine
Chili

Dinner
Toast with margarine
Chili

Lately, I admit that I don't always follow the proposed menu.  I guess that is why it is called proposed.  However, the chili was filling and made with vegetables, chicken, lean beef, and beans. Hopefully all of those healthy ingredients didn't make for an unhealthy chili.  However, the bread wasn't wheat but white and I consumed too much margarine.  So no, my diet is completely healthy. However, considering this is me, I ate in moderation.  What am I waiting for?

Sunday, September 28, 2014

9/28/14 Menu and Musing

Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast
Boost Shake

Lunch
Macaroni and cheese
Chicken Breasts

Dinner
Honey and Cinnamon Oatmeal


I should consume a snack today as well, but because I consumed such a large bowl of oatmeal, there is probably no need.  From the menu, I should have consumed more fruits and vegetables.  After all, there are some green beans, tomatoes, and peaches in the house.  I am a diabetic and I have to be careful of what I consume.  On the other hand, I didn't consume anything that was fried or too fattening so I don't feel bad about that.  There is no guilt other that what I realize I should have done today.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Today's musing

I have consumed too much of the wrong things and not enough of the right things.  I need to realize this because I am a diabetic.  I don't feel horrible right now, but I do have to keep that in mind.  I consumed nearly 2400 calories today.  That is something I don't take pride in.

Friday, September 26, 2014

No guilt here

I have no reason to feel guilty today.  However, I consumed more pasta than fruits.  I did consume peaches which are fruits of course.  I also consumed whole wheat pasta which isn't so bad.  I consumed about 1600 + calories today.  I feel pretty good about today however.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

I am okay 9/25/14

I took the time to eat healthier today.  However, even too much of healthy foods and healthy ingredients is not a good thing.  I am however okay with consuming less than 1800 calories today.  I don't feel guilty about what I ate though.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Musing for 9/24/14

I admit that I have gotten lazy in the last few days so I guess it will be a longer musing for my entry today.  I also admit that sweet drinks and any kind of snacks are my weakness.  It is also true for crackers.  I want to lose the weight and thankfully enough, I have.  I feel so much better about myself because the amount I weigh right now is less than 300 lbs.  I feel pretty good about weighing less than 300 lbs.  I am out of that mark and while I consume food for 1-2lb. per week.  I am proud of myself.  I do need help so that I won't overeat.  I have spent more time consuming fruits, vegetables, and wheat and grains and that is a good thing.  However, I really need to change my diet if I am to lose weight and also to keep it off.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Lesson learned for today 9/21/14

I admit that I wanted to consume breakfast, but I did not.  I should have followed my plan to eat breakfast this morning as I consumed most if not all of my food intake for lunch.  I didn't consume many fruits but I had an intake of vegetables from the stew that I ate today.  I should have been careful not to consume so much starch today as well.  It was macaroni and cheese, rice, and sweet potato pudding.  Sure it was delicious, but I have learned that as a diabetic, eating too many starches can be counterproductive as far as my blood sugar levels.  Overall, I do not feel guilty about what I have consumed today, but I need to watch out for my blood sugar levels.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Today is 9/19/14

I managed to consume an ordinate amount of fruits and vegetables today.  I have not consumed fried foods in a while, which is good.  However, I have eaten too much couscous.  Instead of two servings, I should have consumed only one serving.  I am okay and don't feel guilty about it.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Musing about healthy eating

I have got to consume more fruits and vegetables.  It is a waste of time and money to throw away healthy foods only for them to rot.  Those fruits and vegetables could have been part of a healthy eating plan.  I buy healthy foods, but I don't always plan meals in advance and that has been a problem.  It doesn't help that I don't always use recipes either.  I feel like there needs to be some changes made to my diet plan.  However, I don't wish to repeat that lesson over and over again.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Musing for 9/17/14

I have been eating moderately today.  However, I need to realize that whenever I buy fruits and vegetables, I am supposed to eat them.  I had to throw away a few vegetables in the trash.  Thankfully, I got to use some of it to make a version of chili con carne.  It had a lot of vegetables, ground turkey, chicken, and sausage.  It turned out well.  Here is the menu for today.

Breakfast
Sandwich and milk

Lunch
Chili and bread

Dinner
Chili and bread

Snack 1
Pudding

Snack 2
Pudding

Snack 3
Pudding

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Entry for 9/16/14

I didn't write an entry because I basically forgot.  I dozed off and meant to.  I feel like I have nothing to say except that I focus more on what I consume.  Yesterday my diet was healthier than today.  I spent today consuming only one fruit and a lot of fatty fruits.  It means that I have to eat better.  I think that trying to eat better is counterproductive compared to failure and actually doing.  I think eating only one hot dog would be more productive than eating two with ketchup and mustard. However eating healthy has become a lesson that I have to learn.  If only I learn it the day that I eat.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Musing about today 9/14/14

I consumed more than 1800 calories, which disappointed me but at least the food for the most part was healthy except for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Despite the reduced fat and wheat bread, is there really such thing as a healthy peanut butter and jelly sandwich?  I realize that my health is more important as I am supposed to eat healthy.  I have failed for the past two weeks or so, but no more.  It is time for more fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, and fewer sweet drinks and fried fatty foods.  It is no wonder I gained a lot of weight in a short period of time.


Saturday, September 13, 2014

Menu for 9/13/14 Musings

Breakfast
Cashews
Apple

Lunch
Hot dogs
Vanilla Milkshake

Dinner
Hot dogs
Vanilla Milkshake

This a 1750+ calorie menu out of 1800 calories.  This means that I have only 49 more to go.  I have to think of calories as a budget.  Sometimes I really need to apply that to my eating.  I hate that my eating habits have gotten worse instead of better.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Today's post 9/12/14

Breakfast
Dried Cranberries
Apple

Lunch
BBQ Chicken
Fries

Dinner
BBQ Chicken
Corn

Snack
Apple

Snack 2
Orange

Snack 3
no entry

I have become more mindful of what I ate today.  I know that fries and BBQ chicken is not healthy, but I wonder if there is healthy BBQ.  I know that there are oven baked fries, not the ones that I consumed.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Being mindful of what I consume

I am scared that I will not only engage in mindless eating but also enjoy the mindless eating.  I am scared of gaining even more weight than I have before.  I have not hit my stride sort of speak.  I need help with being mindful of my eating.  I am a diabetic who has eaten the wrong foods.  My account is 1500-1800, yet I have overdrawn days in a row.  I have not tried.  I need help.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Today's reflection

I consumed fried foods and other fattening foods but according to me I ate in moderation.  But how is it possible to consume fried foods in moderation?  I consumed 1750 calories...almost.  So I have no reason to feel guilty about it.  I wonder if I should not only have to write a food plan, but also the time when I consume food.  I have a lot to follow.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Dear God

Dear God,

I know I need help.  I have overeaten for much of the last few days and I need help.  I know that I have not logged in my eating habits for the spark people website.  I also have not exercised. I want to lose weight because I need to lose weight.  I don't feel proud of my sore lack of accomplishments.  I do overeat and I want to stop.  Help me to overcome this issue.  I don't know why I overeat on some days more so than I do others.  I have to stop buying trigger foods.  I need to eat some more healthy foods like nuts and fruits.  I want to lose a specific number of pounds but I know it will take a while to lose weight.  So far, I have lost 15 pounds and I am happy about that.  But I gained four pounds since I last weighed myself and I know I need help.  I don't think I am an emotional eater, so I don't know why I eat.  Help me to cope with overeating and with diabetes.  Help me understand that diabetes is a serious illness and I would like to reverse it.  I was ashamed to be diabetic and I feel like I do take too many medications, especially for my age.  I want, need, and desire to lose weight.  I need help, Lord.  Help me.


In Jesus' name,


Amen

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Down and out

Help me.  I need help with the mindless eating.  I am trying to overcome it but I ate too much at night.  I guess it is because of the other issues I am facing tolday.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Mindless eating problem

I still need help with the mindless eating.  I am in a manic state and I feel like eating everything in sight.  I don't know if it is mania but I feel bad about what I am doing and the mindless eating.  I am fully responsible for my actions.  I am just in need of help because I hope not to gain weight, but I have gained weight.  It all started with eating lunch; I had a homemade French bread pizza.  It as if I am out of control.  How do I maintain self-control and eat healthy at the same time?  That is the question.

Monday, September 1, 2014

I need help with the mindless eating

I am need of help.  I did not use Sparkpeople today.  I am ashamed.  I had a hard time eating so much today.  I knew I was going to go over the 1800 calorie limit.  I consumed sandwiches, burgers, fries, ice cream "sundae", cereal, amongst other things.  That was just too much and too unhealthy.  I have learned to rid myself of trigger foods.  I have decided not to purchase trigger foods, which would be of great benefit.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Musing about mindless eating

The turkey moussaka turned out better than I expected.  So did my appetite.  I overate two days in a row.  I do wonder what the problem is where I eat mindlessly.  I am not proud of those days where I eat mindlessly.  I need to get rid or stop buying the trigger foods.  I have to stop the mindless eating or I will end up gaining the weight back.  /

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Reflections on today

What I actually ate was a lot.  I am now not sure if I was in a manic state.  It has been crazy to say the least.  I feel much calmer now.  I consumed about 3,000 calories which includes my menu for today.  I want and need to lose weight.  I am just reflecting on today.

Friday, August 29, 2014

What I actually consumed today

Breakfast
No entry

Lunch
Pepperoni Ham Pizza Sandwich
Crackers

Dinners
Pepperoni Pizza Sandwich
Crackers

Snack 1
Almond hazelnut sundae

Snack 2
Almond pecan hazelnut sundae


Thursday, August 28, 2014

New blog entry 8/28/14

Yesterday I wrote a blog entry that would have been difficult to understand or incomprehensible at the very least if someone else were to have written it.  I did manage to follow today the plan (almost) to the letter though I have not eaten any beans for breakfast.  However, despite that, I have learned that planning meals certainly takes out all of the frustration I had in the past few weeks.  Here is what I planned to eat today below:

Breakfast
Beans and bacon

Lunch
Chicken barley soup
Corn muffin

Dinner
Chicken barley soup

Snack 1
Popcorn

Snack 2
Peaches

Snack 3
Peaches

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

1800 calories

I consumed just below 1800 calories today.  Well, I hope I did.  I am supposed to be on a 1500-1800 calorie budget.  The word diet is very limiting and carries a big weight to it.  I ate a lot of protein and vegetables today.  This is a good thing.  I guess spacing out how much and what to eat at a certain time doesn't always work.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Journal for today

I consumed over 1200 calories today.  There isn't much food in the house for now so I am doing the best I know how.  That was deep down the main reason why I had to take a break from planning meals in advance today.

Here is what I ate below:

Breakfast
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
2% milk

Lunch
Bread and bacon

Dinner
Reduced fat crackers
tuna

Snack 1
Popcorn

Snack 2
sliced peaches

Monday, August 25, 2014

Journal entry for 8/25/14

Today I had to change the menu for the most part.  I consumed less than 1600 calories today.  I spent the day consuming mainly snacks and breakfast foods.  It isn't the healthiest day but it is better than snacks and processed junk during the day.  If only I had fruit on hand.

Breakfast
Yogurt

Lunch
Corn flakes and milk

Dinner
Corn flakes and milk

Snack 1
Popcorn

Snack 2
Peanut butter crackers

Snack 3
Plain oatmeal

Sunday, August 24, 2014

What I actually ate v My plan Menus 8/24/14

What I actually ate

Breakfast
Raisin oatmeal

Lunch
Baked chicken
Macaroni and cheese
Bread
Green beans

Dinner
Chicken Barley Soup

Snack 1
Chocolate

Snack 2
Peanut butter crackers

Snack 3
Broccoli

What I planned to eat 

Breakfast
Raisin Oatmeal

Lunch
Chicken
Vegetables
Starch

Dinner
Chicken barley soup

Snack 1
Peanut butter sandwich

Snack 2
Chocolate

Snack 3
Plain oatmeal

Saturday, August 23, 2014

My entry for 8/23/14

Breakfast
Raisin Oatmeal

Lunch
Chicken barley soup
Corn muffins

Dinner
Chicken barley soup
Honey wheat bread

Snack 1
Peanut butter sandwich

Snack 2
Broccoli

Snack 3
Orange
Chocolate

The menu is just over 1870 calories, which is above the 1800 calorie limit, but I have decided not to feel guilty about it.  I didn't exercise today either which didn't help matters.  I should have left out one or both of the chocolate pieces.  Everything else was okay.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Today's entry 8/22/14

Breakfast
Apple and Orange

Lunch
Beans and Potatoes
Baked Chicken
Yellow Rice
Corn muffin

Dinner
Beans and Potatoes
Baked Chicken
Yellow Rice
Corn muffin

Snack 1
Peanut Butter Sandwich

Snack 2
Pineapple chunks

Snack 3
Apple

So far, so good.  Doing things once at a time daily is something I wished I had done on a more consistent basis.  This is less than 1660 calories worth of food.  I am just concerned that this is not the healthiest diet I could come up with for a day.  I could lessen it but eliminating processed foods seems almost impossible.  If I could rid myself of unhealthy processed foods, then I will be happier.  The best I could do is to eat in moderation.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Today is 8/21/14

Breakfast
Corn muffins
Turkey bacon
Bacon and cheese omelet
Sausage
Grits

Lunch
Oven fried chicken
Broccoli
Oven baked fries

Dinner
Broccoli
Baked chicken

Snack 1
Apple

Snack 2
Pineapple chunks

Snack 3
Orange

I have learned to plan my meals wisely.  However, I still have the issue of keeping to that plan.  Yet the changes aren't too big, but they are minor.  That I will learn to have to do.  This above menu is a total of 1775 calories, which is within the 1500-1800 calorie limit.  This is an example of a day that I wish to have.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Menu for today...8/20/14

Breakfast
Pineapple chunks

Lunch
Chicken
Corn muffins
Rice or Barley
Butter beans-peas

Dinner
Chicken
Corn muffins
Rice or Barley
Butter beans-peas

Snack 1
Corn Muffins

Snack 2
Apples

The above menu is what I consumed today.  It was just under 1900 calories, which doesn't worry me.  I tend to have a perfectionist complex when it comes to how I do things.  It didn't make things better, it made them worse.  It overwhelmed me and caused quite a bit of stress.  I had to measure out my foods today.  I was surprised by how little of the good stuff I eat compared to how much of the "bad", "processed" foods I eat.  I already knew this, but I didn't feel deprived.  I do however need to bake biscuits and muffins with healthier ingredients or scrap them altogether for example.  Even changes I need or have made during the course of a day bother me even less.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Planned menu in advance 8/19/14

Breakfast
Pineapple chunks

Lunch
Hamburger
Fries

Dinner
Raisin Oatmeal

Snack 1
Peanut butter crackers (3)

Snack 2
Raisins

Snack 3
Apple

This above is less than 1350 calories.  I tend to over-think and under-do things.  I am amazing at thinking things through but application of the things I have learned is quite difficult.  I have struggled with this for a long time now and I realize that sometimes I have to do some of the work myself.   That is what I have finally been doing lately.  I made a plan in advance for today and I plan to do the same thing the next day and the next days hereafter.  Planning certainly makes life easier.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Planning in advance

I have actually followed a meal plan and while it could be a struggle, but the struggle is worth it.  Planning meals in advance requires some patience but like everything in this weight loss journey, it is worth it.  I consumed over 1600 calories today which makes me smile.  I write that phrase a lot because despite whatever mistakes I make, there is always a lesson to be learned.  Now if only I read the labels and measure my food more often.

Here is what I consumed today
Breakfast
Raisin Oatmeal

Lunch
London Broil
Brown Rice
Green Beans

Dinner
Hamburger
Fries

Snack 1
1/2 Peanut butter sandwich

Snack 2
Prunes

Snack 3
Apple

Sunday, August 17, 2014

I spent a mighty long time...

I spent a long time making blog entries full of sample calorie plans. If only I did this earlier, then planning meals in advance would not have been such a struggle.  Granted, they are subject to change, but the purpose is to stick to the plan.  I realize that going over or under a certain limit isn't unforgivable.  It is something that I need to do to track all of my meals.  That is all.  I made a mountain out of a mole hill.

Here is the menu for today:
Breakfast
Raisin Oatmeal with cinnamon and honey

Lunch
London Broil with Roasted vegetables
Green beans
Honey wheat bread

Dinner
Barley

Snack 1
Peanut butter crackers

Snack 2
Yogurt

Snack 3
Orange

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Renewed game plan

Today is a day that I have learned something new.  I have to work hard at losing weight.  I am not as lazy as I thought.  I cannot stay with the mindset about being lazy.  Nor can I stay with the mindset concerning being self-conscious.  I already know that.  Today, my mind is renewed.  I have to learn what I think too.  I gained weight for a number of reasons, one of which was a poor diet.  I have struggled with a poor diet for years and I have had great difficulty losing the weight lately.  I am here to say that my mind is not only renewed, but refreshed.  Today, I have learned that eating in moderation is vital in weight loss and I have not felt guilty about that.  I have to do the work myself.  I do need and have support yes, but I have to work hard at it.

Here is what I ate for today.  I realize that it is important to plan meals in advance and to track what I have actually eaten.  Planning meals in advance has been a struggle for me however.  I would like to be able to do so.

Breakfast
Boost Glucose Control Shake

Lunch
Tomato-Avocado salad with cheese

Dinner
Wheat toast with strawberry preserves
Turkey Bacon
Scrambled egg

Snack 1
Prunes

Snack 2
Blueberry Yogurt with Honey

Snack 3
Wheat bread slices


Friday, August 15, 2014

Fasting

Today I fasted a meal this morning.  I realized that I needed to fast but I needed to learn how to fast.  So I didn't eat breakfast.  My lunch and dinner were quite heavy.  I consumed 370 calories worth of food per meal.  Snacks are 250 calories due to the Boost drink.  I do not feel guilty today as I am okay.  However I still struggle with eating healthy.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Things I did and things that I should

Breakfast
Vanilla Yogurt with honey

Lunch
Couscous
Stuffing
Baked Chicken Wings

Dinner
Baked Chicken Wings
Bacon

Snack 1
Peanut butter crackers

Snack 2
Pineapple chunks

Snack 3
Sweet potato pudding

I consider myself a perfectionist when it comes to how many calories I consume.  However, I went over the 2200 calorie mark.  I did exercise today but not even exercise has been of help to me.  I consumed too much sweet potato pudding.  I also consumed extra couscous and stuffing after lunch.  I regret not measuring my food, which should be very important when it comes to weight loss.  It isn't easy to go on a restricted calorie diet.  The "perfectionism" isn't helping.  It should not be hard to go on an 1800 calorie diet.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Today's musing 8/13/14

I consumed 1860 calories today.  I am okay with that but I am supposed to consume a maximum of 1800 calories per day.  I feel okay that I have done so the past few days.  However, I consumed 2 servings of honey raisin oatmeal instead of one which was a bit too much.  It brought the number of calories way up.  It was 440 calories with half a cup of raisins which was also 280 calories.  I didn't do a bad job but I could do better.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Over 1850 calories

I may have consumed too many dried fruits today.  I did.  I ate just over 1850 calories which is over the limit that I was supposed to consume.  I don't feel bad, however.  I feel okay, just as long as I don't consume anymore.  I was supposed to consume 1/3 cup of craisins but instead consumed half of the craisins which increased the number of calories I consumed.  Here is what else I ate today.

Breakfast
Watermelon

Lunch
Moussaka

Dinner
Sausage Links
Wheat toast with hazelnut spread

Snack 1
Vanilla Yogurt with honey
Banana

Snack 2
Dried fruit

Monday, August 11, 2014

Food journal for today

Breakfast
Fiber one chewy bar
V8 Splash Juice

Lunch
Couscous
Chicken Breasts
Green Beans

Dinner
Moussaka

Snack 1
Banana
Cheese sandwich

Snack 2
Cheese sandwich

Snack 3
Lime Yogurt with honey

So I went to my nutritionist and I worked out the same issue that I did with her.  She recommended that I consume between 1500-1800 calories per day.  It is doable.  I know that I can do it.  The problem is how do I go about consuming all of those calories and eat healthy at the same time.  Also, how do I do this without feeling so overwhelmed?  I did however consume more than 1800 calories which is just outside my range.  Other than that, I am okay with it since it was barely outside of the range.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Applying myself

I know why I want to lose weight.  The trouble is the application.  Nothing seems to work.  It sounds so good and easy in my head but trying to apply what is in my head is harder than I think.  I do eat a variety of foods.  That is a good thing.  What is not good is the fact is that it is the wrong kind of foods with the right kinds of ingredients.  For instance, the baked spaghetti casserole has healthy ingredients but the dish itself is unhealthy overall.  I have issues that I need to work out such as this.  I am bad at eating in moderation.  That is something I need to work on.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

My own lesson

I keep thinking it deep down even though I don't usually say it to myself: I can't.  I hope that those won't be two words I use together often.  What is even worse is that I believe it which deep down I have done.  I have a tendency to eat more processed foods and less fruits and vegetables.  This weekend I ended up with rotting, frozen fruit and more pounds.  I learned that lesson as I wanted to eat strawberries but they ended up frozen and dried up.  So did the raspberries.  So did a few of the blueberries.  So did a few of the oranges. What would possess me to be fruits that are going to end up spoiled and thrown away anyways?  Why don't I just buy the chips, cookies, and crackers?  They last longer and they taste better.  I gravitate towards those.  That is the problem.  The hardest thing to do is often the most productive.  Cookies and chips especially not eaten in moderation will certainly not produce the same benefits as those fruits would have had.  That much I now know for sure.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Friday's menu

Breakfast
Fiber One chewy bar

Lunch
Turkey Pepperoni with cheese
Pretzel Chips

Dinner
Honey wheat toast
Hazelnut spread

Snack 1
Lime Yogurt with honey

Snack 2
Peanuts

I have consumed less than 1800 calories today which is something that I am proud of.  Now what I have to do is how do I consume this many servings of fruits and vegetables.  What does constitute a serving of a fruit or a vegetable?  Those are things I need to consider during the course of a day.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Short entry 8/7/14

I have used what foresight that I had today.  I have a long way to go, but I do not feel bad about what I have consumed.  Every day is a lesson, even today.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Having foresight

Breakfast
Almonds
Post Great Grains Raisin, Date & Pecan Cereal
Milk Reduced Fat Milk 2% Great Value

Lunch
Bread, Arnold's 100% Whole Wheat Bread
Banana, fresh, 1 large (8" to 8-7/8" long)
Tropicana Orange Juice (8 oz),
Banquet brown'n serve sausages(3 links),
Cream Cheese, Great Value, 1/3 Less Fat Neufchatel Cheese

Dinner
Nabisco Wheat Thins Ranch
Lays Garden Tomato Basil Chips

Snack
Pretzel Chips

Snack 2
Nabisco Wheat Thins Ranch

I wish I had the foresight that I lack early in the day.  I consumed more than 2200 calories today.  That is not a good thing but I admit that I need to lay off of the snacks and the processed foods and eat more whole foods.  I wonder why I buy them only to consume them later.  That just makes no sense to me.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

My lack of consistency

Breakfast
Fiber One Oats and Chocolate Chewy Bar

Lunch
Kool-Aid, sugar sweetened prepared
Lays Garden Tomato Basil Chips
Turkey Pepperoni Sandwich

Dinner
Almonds
Planter's Dry Roasted Peanuts
Hazelnut Spread
Lays Garden Tomato Basil Chips
Pretzel Chips

Snack 1
Wheat thins

Snack 2
Neufchatel-Cheese Sandwich on wheat

Snack 3
Cereal and almonds

Looking at the above plan, I say that this is too much of the bad stuff and not enough of the good stuff.  The good stuff means vegetables, fruits, and whole grains.  Hardly anything up there would qualify.  That is not something I am proud of.  I admit that I have not been consistent, but now is the time to be consistent.  I consumed a surprising 3,300+ calories today.  That is just way too much for me.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Trying to eat healthier

I tried to at least eat healthier.  For the past three days, I overate.  Today I didn't overeat, but I admit that I went over the calorie limit.  I am going to be okay with that.  I felt guilty yesterday about eating so much. Today, not so much.  Next week, I will go to Florence for my appointment about nutrition, exercise, and medication.  Rather, the focus will be on medication and exercise.  I exercised quite a bit today but I believe that I overexerted myself.  I also need some guidance when it comes to eating healthy so I guess I may ask a question or two about my health and my eating habits.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Overating

For the past two days I overate.  I am not proud of that.  In fact, I feel somewhat ashamed.  I wish I could go back and showed restraint, for I allowed the food to take total control.  I lacked self-control and that is supposed to be the old me.  Today is a lesson for me.  I can do that.  Everyday is a lesson learned.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Today's entry 8/1/2014

Breakfast
Catfish
Couscous
Broccoli

Lunch
Potato Chips
Turkey-Pepperoni Sandwich

Dinner
Raspberries
Blueberries
Strawberries

Snack 1
Raspberries
Sugar free Ice Cream

Snack 2
Onion-Sour Cream dip
Whole grain ranch crackers

Snack 3
Pretzel chips

I spent an hour or so shopping today after I exercised.  I was a little bit hungry or so it seems.  Above is what I ate today.  Thankfully I consumed fruits and vegetables which is what I was supposed to consume.  Maybe I should lay off of the chips and other processed meats.  I need help cutting it out of my diet but processed foods are everywhere.  How do I consume a diet without processed foods?  That is the most difficult part.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Short entry

I am okay yet I should not have eaten the white rice.  What I should have done was eaten the brown rice along with the chicken and the cornbread.  I need to stop wasting time on the computer.  That is for another day.  On the other hand, I had a good day.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Menu for 7/30/14

Breakfast
Scrambled Egg
white bread toast
Butterball Turkey Bacon

Lunch
Jiffy Cornbread (baked)
White Rice, long grain, cooked
cabbage cooked
Fat Back

Dinner
White Rice, long grain, cooked
Jiffy Cornbread (baked)
cabbage cooked

Snack
Nature's Blend Very Raisin Honey Oatmeal

I believe that I have consumed 3 servings of vegetables, which is good, yet minimal.  I tend to eat what is available.  It is why I need to eat better.  It seems strange but all of us tend to eat what is available.  I need to be a better shopper.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Today is the day...

I did not get to eat a whole lot today.  I ate less than 1200 calories even, which is too low.  I was tired of the whole diet and losing weight thing.  So what did I do?  I prayed for the strength, wisdom, and motivation to lose weight.  I wish I had prayed for patience as well.  I could use it.  I ate a peanut butter and preserve sandwich for dinner.  I eat what is available in the kitchen, which I need to stop doing.  I know that there is healthier fare in the house and I should consume that instead.  I hope that don't have an inversion to healthy foods.  I want to lose weight and keep it off.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Raisins and bread

Breakfast
Raisins
Orange

Lunch
Pasta salad

Dinner
Pasta Salad

Snack 1
Raisins

Snack 2
Toast and preserves


The pasta salad was not healthy to say the least.  As a matter of fact, I need to buy healthier foods and prepare them.  I have meal plans everywhere I turn yet I don't follow them.  I know that I need to eat healthier and lose weight, but I also know that exercise is just as important.  I just wish that I had the foresight then that I have now.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Musings for 7/27/14

Breakfast
Orange
Raisins

Lunch
Macaroni and Cheese
Chicken Stew 
White rice

Dinner
Chickpeas

Snack 1
Corn flakes
2% milk

Snack 2
Air popped microwave popcorn

I am doing okay and my menu today was the same.  I do not feel guilty by anything that I ate.  However, the white rice wasn't a healthy choice.  I wished I had consumed brown rice instead.  I consumed two cups of chickpeas which was maybe a bit too much, but as I mentioned earlier, I don't feel guilty by what I ate.  I consumed just over 1700 calories today.  Hopefully I will keep up the good work and improve on that good work.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Summary of today

Breakfast
Peanuts

Lunch
Honey Raisin Oatmeal

Dinner
Barbecued chicken
Mashed potatoes
Garden peas

Snack 1
Peanut butter and preserves sandwich

There are things that I should have done differently.  The sandwich was not very healthy since I consumed white bread instead of wheat bread.  I consumed just over 1400 calories today.  I hope to consume those fewer calories at least once this upcoming week.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Taking my health seriously

Breakfast
Blueberry Nom Noms

Lunch
Brown rice
Corn biscuits
Green beans
Gravy
Baked chicken breasts
Honey

Dinner
Brown rice
Corn biscuits
Green beans
Sugar-free preserves
Baked chicken breasts

Snack 1
Peanut butter crackers

Snack 2
Corn biscuits

As of tomorrow I plan to consume a healthy diet, at least the one healthier than the one above.  I know I need to lose weight.  I also know it is going to be a journey that is well worth it.  I am glad to say that this menu is less than 2000 calories.  I usually don't like to consume that many calories knowing that my weight loss will either be slow or non-existent.  I have made plans to consume healthy foods because of my diabetes and stalled metabolism.  Despite exercise, my diet is poor and I need to make some changes immediately.  I don't want this to be an overnight change.  However some of my eating habits are good like learning to eat in moderation and not drink too many sugary drinks.  On the other hand, I have not cut them out completely and have struggled to eat in moderation.  Hopefully I would like to do a better job of eating healthy than I had before.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

A good thing

Breakfast
Bacon
Scrambled Egg
Blueberry Bagel
Cream Cheese
Strawberry Jam

Lunch
Canned Pineapple

Dinner
Turkey Bacon
Wheat toast
Strawberry Preserves
Scrambled egg

Snack 1
Strawberry Shortcake Bar

I consumed fewer calories than I have in the past and that is a good thing.  I have been more conscious of what I consume and that too is a good thing.  However, eating a whole can of pineapples isn't that great a thing.  I guess I let hunger get the best of me.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Meal Plan summary

Breakfast
Clover Honey
Honey Raisin Oatmeal

Lunch
Chicken Rotini Soup
Black Beans
Wheat bread

Dinner
Black Beans
Chicken Rotini Soup

Snack 1
Orange

Snack 2
Peanut Butter Crackers
2% milk

Snack 3
Oven baked fries

This is what I would call healthy eating out of the past few days.  There are no fried foods but I did consume too many peanut butter crackers.  I have an appointment tomorrow and my eating habits will be examined so to speak.  My doctor always asks me what I consume the day before.  I hope to lose some weight but I realize that I have a long way to go before I lose weight.  I want to lose weight and though it is not as urgent, I need to take my health more seriously and make it more urgent.  Weight loss is very important because I have diabetes and I would like to take fewer medications and thus be healthier.  I hoped that today's menu is the start of a brand new change.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Today's meal plan and summary

Breakfast
Prunes
Orange Juice

Lunch
Peanut Butter Crackers

Dinner
Tuna salad wraps
Apple

Snack 1
Popcorn

I have consumed more than 1500 calories today which is within the 1480-1830 limit that has been proposed for me.  I am not feeling guilty about this. Not at all.  Now I wonder however if there are some changes that need to be made.  I am honest today but admittedly I have not been yesterday.  I am not proud of that.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Meal Plan for today 7/21/14

Breakfast
Toast
2% milk
Raisin Nut Bran
Strawberry Preserves
Orange Juice

Lunch
Beans and brown rice
Chicken Wings

Dinner
Beans and brown rice

Snack 1
Cake
Ice Cream

Snack 2
Honey Nut Cheerios 
2% milk

Snack 3
Peanuts

This is what over 2300 calories looks like.  I am frustrated today because I ate dinner too soon.  I feel like I have blown my diet.  Getting back on is quite difficult for me but I have learned that getting back on the saddle sore is better than staying on the ground sore.  The truth is, I just don't want to try anymore.  I wanna do it.  That is what I thought I was going to do today.  The food wasn't bad food but there were areas where the portions weren't moderate.  However, I cannot say I am miserable, but I would like to eat within a reasonable range.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Serious about my health

Breakfast
Toast
Strawberry Preserves
Orange
Orange Juice

Lunch
Cake
Ice Cream
Chicken Wings
Macaroni and cheese

Dinner
Pasta Salad

Snack
Pineapple Chunks

Today I did a much better job of consuming fruits and vegetables today than I did yesterday.  I realize that when it comes to my food intake, I need to be more serious about my overall health.  I am concerned that because of my weight gain and my poor eating habits that I will have to "start over".  I may need a new strategy of avoiding mindless eating and continually making poor choices.  I have an appointment later this week and I feel like I have to eat healthy not just for me, but for my doctor.  She has gotten at me about this and I wish to hear another report.  I know it sounds crazy but  that is how I feel.  I would like to lose the weight and keep it off.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Unhealthy meal plans

Breakfast
Toast
Strawberry Preserves
Orange Juice

Lunch
Cake
Ice Cream
Pasta Salad

Dinner
Cake
Ice Cream
Pasta Salad

I was wondering if I should make a meal plan.  Maybe I should or maybe I should not.  I tend to consume whatever is available, whether or not it is healthy.  The problem is, I don't get to consume healthy foods and that is my fault.  Ice cream and cake are not nearly as healthy as pineapple chunks.  I wish that I could make wise choices whether or not I can plan my meals ahead of time or not even plan at all.

Friday, July 18, 2014

What I should do

Maybe I should just take a break.  I am failing miserably at planning meals in advance.  It is like I am having a hard time sticking to it.  It was too late to cook breakfast, so ice cream and cake was the order of the day.  I had plenty of that as well as eating unhealthy foods.  Next week, I have an appointment with my endocrinologist and she always ask me what I ate the day before.  Now I am worried.  Starting today, I will take my food intake more seriously.  I am diabetic and I am not losing weight.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Pre-planning for tomorrow

I hope to actually plan my meals for tomorrow.  I planned after the fact which would not go a long ways into helping me to lose weight.  I have gained some weight since last week.  I have not eaten a healthy breakfast. In fact the only thing that was even close to being healthy was the baked spaghetti casserole but the added cheese made it unhealthy.  What I need to do is to pre-plan BEFORE I go to bed late at night tonight, then actually follow that plan, to the letter.  I tend to change my mind often, which would go a long way into ruining the plan that I had for the next day.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Musing for 7/16/14

I wrote about being a vegetarian.  How about if I were to go on another type of diet like Raw Food or South Beach?  I don't like to idea of cutting out foods, though I should.  I don't always eat the right types of foods to lose weight.  I have busted out of a favorite pair of jeans lately and I would like to try them on.  I gained 4 lbs in the past week and my hope is that it is water weight gain or even muscle gain.  I hope this is the case considering all that I have eaten in the past few days.  I feel like calorie-wise, I hit my stride, but in terms of nutrition, I hit a snag.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Musing for today

I ate a lot of fried foods today.  I consumed no fruits, vegetables, lean meats, lean fish, or whole grains as of yet.  I did wonder if being a vegetarian would be a good thing.  Then I realized that I am too much of an omnivore and that I won't last 2 days as a vegetarian. I recognize that my diet is poor.  I need help in recognizing the problems that I have when it comes to the diabetes and my overall health.  I am only comfortable but I want to become healthy.  I gave up on myself too much to slide back and overeat and eat the wrong kinds of foods.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Planned no meals

I took a break from planning meals today.  Needless to say I ate more in desserts than I did in healthy foods. I need to change that and I want to, but I don't know how.  It is not doing me any good that I have diet issues and I am exercising.  I am tired of the "instead of this, I should have eaten this" line.  It is now time to reflect with no procrastination.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Planning meals

Maybe I should just preplan meals ahead of time for at least one week at a time.  I tried to plan daily but my diet is poor and it is not working.  I have not lost any weight and with having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, it would make weight loss even harder.  I know that I need to change but I don't know how.  I am now thinking about cooking food the night before and making a plan for the day since I make daily plans anyways.  That way, I won't have the common problems I have been having.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Consuming foods in abundance

I ate gorditas and fries, which I consumed in abundance.  I didn't follow my plan fully which has me a bit bummed, but I have to realize that I tend to change my mind and that all plans are subject to change, so I am okay with a little change.  I am just not hungry, that is all.  I did however, drink a lot of water which should be of benefit to me.  I will check out my past entries and check what I need to do to improve on what I have as far as following a meal plan and eating healthy.  I have to also recall that losing weight is about a combination of diet and exercise with diet being dominant as compared to exercise.  Or is it the other way around?  Or are they both equal?

Friday, July 11, 2014

Peanut butter

I admit that I do consume a lot of peanut butter.  I hate to consume too many calories, but when I plan, it doesn't go into the extra calories I eat per day.  Thankfully I have sparkpeople where I consume those calories.  No matter how difficult it is, I will not give up on making a daily plan as far as calories.  Peanut butter eaten in moderation is a good thing.  However, even consuming a healthy fat not in moderation is unhealthy.  Maybe I should buy some natural peanut butter.  I plan to consume less than 2200 calories a day. I want more than anything to lose weight through exercise and healthy eating.  I read that weight loss and a healthy lifestyle is 80% diet and 20% exercise.  I don't know how that works, but unless otherwise, it means that while exercise is good, it wouldn't do me any good if my diet is not healthy.  That is why a plan is needed.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Summary of this afternoon

I ate a lot this afternoon but overall, my appetite wasn't as good today as I would have liked it to be.  I guess because I wasn't so hungry since I consumed so much food today.  I hope to also look back at my diary and see what is really wrong with my diet.  I feel great because of exercise but because of issues with my diet, I know I am not eating healthy.  It is usually a case of instead of this, then I should have eaten that.  How do I continue to create meal plans that I would like to follow?

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Things that I need and would like to do

I have made no real plans for the entire day, just a part of today.  I overate yesterday and that is why.  I don't want to get to the point where I no longer eat healthy.  Why would I do that like I did last time I tried to lose weight?  I feel like I have failed myself.  Maybe I still have the diet mentality instead of the healthy lifestyle mentality.  I wish that I could just take a break but my definition for taking a break is cheating. Cheating is something that I don't wish to do, but I still do so anyway.  I wish that I could have just one cookie after a meal, but that is not always possible.  Instead of this, I could do something else which is what I say.  I have learned a valuable lesson today as far as planning ahead and following through which is something I usually don't do.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Journal entry for 7/7/14

The macaroni and cheese I ate wasn't that healthy.  In fact, I added more cheese to the macaroni which would make it even less healthy.  I admit that it was quite good but I consumed nearly 600 calories on the macaroni and cheese alone.  I don't feel guilty about what I ate.  In fact, I feel pretty good about what I consumed.  I am very happy about eating more in moderation, well, for the most part.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

I wish

Breakfast
     Yogurt
Lunch
     Beef or chicken
     Vegetable
     Macaroni and cheese
Dinner
     Beef or Chicken
     Vegetable
Snack 1
     Apple
Snack 2
     Fiber One Bar 90
Snack 3
      Strawberries and Whipped Topping

I wish this was the plan that I followed.  I thought I had it together until later this morning.  I was not eating in moderation because I thought that my blood sugar was too low.  So what I did was consume nearly twice as many calories as I should.  I am proud of my eating habits today.  The last few days have been hard.  I would like to change that.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

What I ate today

Breakfast
     Yogurt
Lunch
     Honey Nut Cheerios
     Fiber One Cookie
     Ice Cream
Dinner
    2 Pizza Wraps
    Triscuit crackers
Snack 1
     Raisin Nut bran with 2% milk
Snack 2
     Sweet Potato
     Banana
Snack 3
     Raisin Nut bran with 2% milk

The above is what I ate today.  This is not a record.  In fact, this is much much better than what I have consumed yesterday.  I hope to do a better job tomorrow.  In other words I hope to eat in moderation and eat healthier tomorrow.

Friday, July 4, 2014

I did it. The last two days have been a record....I think

I am taking a break today since today is July 4th.  I already know that I am going to overeat but hopefully not too much.  I don't know how many calories I am going to consume today, but I hope it won't be over 4,000.  Last year, I consumed about 4,200 calories!  That is 2-3 days worth of calories for me.  I hope to be more conservative today.

This is from the journal that I wrote this morning about taking a break.  Well, I did it.  I consumed more than 4400 calories, which is a record for me.  That is what I ate today plus what I ate after dinner yesterday.  It doesn't matter when I added those foods to the menu.  I overate.  I need to plan my meals and do a better job of doing so.  I need to better avoid those trigger foods as well.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Before July 4th

There really isn't much to say except for the fact that I did overeat today.  So, that means that I did not do very well.  Hopefully I will do better tomorrow.  However, tomorrow is July 4th which means it is an off day for me.  I knew ahead of time that I would overeat tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

No guilt however

Instead of two pizza wraps, I should have had one.  Instead of a large helping of strawberry shortcake, I should have eaten half.  But those are the lessons that I need to learn.  I admit that even yesterday I do eat too much within one setting of food.  I am having issues with food and not knowing how to prepare meals for myself. Other than that, I did well and there is no guilt here.

Monday, June 30, 2014

Consuming too much in one sitting

On this last day of the month, I hope to really preplan my meals and snacks effectively.  In fact, I would like to know about that since I am watching videos.  For someone such as myself who is trying to lose weight, I find that planning out meals in advance is essential to not overeating.  Today, I have consumed more fruits and vegetables than I usually would consume.  However, I realize that I do consume too much food in one sitting.  Instead of two drumsticks, I should have consumed just one drumstick with brown rice and maybe a vegetable.  That is just an example.  I do consume too much in one sitting.  That is the lesson that I have learned for today.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

I had one Sunday

I did eat one PB&J sandwich but I was a bit weak.  My blood sugar I felt was low so I felt was a bit low because I was shaking.  It could have been the green tea however.  I feel like I am doing better but maybe I should just skip doing the meal plans.  Or maybe not.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Lack of consistency

Well, I was not consistent.  I could say that today was a bad day but I won't go that route.  I will just say that it is a day where I learned a valuable lesson.  I did not follow the meal plan which was a big mistake.  I ate 2  PB&J sandwiches today which threw me off.  I consumed more than 2400 calories today which is more than what I should or usually consume.  I would like to consume less than 2000 per day, which is what I need to do.