Sunday, January 3, 2016

Journal for 1/3/16

I recall that chocolate is one of my trigger foods.  Well, I have more of that trigger food at my disposal.  It is hard to say no to trigger foods.  My goal is to lose over 190 pounds and keep it off.  It is a rather lofty goals, but I know I will feel better.  Saying "no" to unhealthy or trigger foods would go a long way into keeping the weight off.  Ice cream is another of my trigger foods.  I might as well say that ice cream is my favorite dessert and one of my favorite foods.  I don't have any on hand by the way.  Anyways, I have broken a cardinal rule today: I did not eat breakfast.  I guess the reason why breakfast is important is that it is good for weight loss so that I won't overeat for the rest of the day.  All I had was a cup of coffee for breakfast.  For lunch, I actually ate an extra meal, and did not overeat.  However, the only healthy thing I ate were green beans.  The meatloaf was the second healthiest thing.  I guess the reason why is because of the lack of an egg as a binder.  But then again, eggs are healthy, though maybe not for a meatloaf.  The sad truth is I do not have any eggs anyway despite the fact that they are nutritious.  Anyways, I did not consume anything healthy since.  I ate a lot, and I mean a lot, of chocolate and other candy.  It is an irony since I am now sure if I am ready to lose weight despite the fact that I need to lose weight.  I want to lose weight, but now I wonder if I am ready.  That is the frustrating part, wanting and needing to lose weight but eating and tasting unhealthy foods continually.  Following recipes and exercise videos are incredibly frustrating as well especially when I am trying and wanting to lose weight.  Taking it as slow would help me greatly and so are focusing on what I need to lose weight.  All I know is that I cannot just go at it alone.  I have tried that and it only works temporarily.  I need a permanent solution so that I can lose weight and thus keep it off.  That isn't a resolution.  That is my goal.