Thursday, September 3, 2015

Journal entry for 9/3/15

I have had a burning sensation in my right toe.  That is a warning to stop having a "free day" and to control my urge to binge.  I just had some water tonight.  It has quenched my thirst and it has made me full.  I wish that is what I should have done today.  I realize that what I consumed today are actually trigger foods.  Those foods are my weaknesses when it comes to losing weight and keeping it off.  I consumed more than 4000 calories for the past two days thereby gaining at least a pound or two from when I weighed myself.  I started off well, but I binged to the point where I feel guilty.  I have engaged in mindless eating before, but unlike this time, I will not give up on weight loss.  I have been more self-conscious and anxiety ridden about my weight than ever before.  I tend to consume too much sodium and not enough of the fruits, vegetables, and whole grains that I need.  My weight is at just under 300 lbs.  I have a condition which will make losing weight hard.  However, I myself don't wish to make it hard, either.  I woke up late and ate no breakfast, which could have also been the reason why I ate so much.  I feel like I have failed in my goals of consuming 1200-1500 calories per day.  It can be done, but it has been a while since I have eaten those few calories.,  It is just about my eating healthy that is all.  I won't starve, I promise.