I am taking a break from the usual day of putting up daily journals from Spark People. I am just writing because I have a problem with binge eating. It has made losing weight an even bigger struggle than it should be. Having periods of weight loss then weight gain cycle bothers me. I wish I could just stop. I know that I need help. I didn't eat breakfast because I wish to fast before I have blood work drawn. It is a big mistake I realize. I have in fact, eaten foods to catch up with breakfast. That is also a big mistake. I think it is high time to make this more personal and also more traditional. I gained a lot of weight and that is something that bothers me. I do have PCOS, which would make weight gain more apparent but weight loss more difficult. I realize that that is the case because my journal is filled with no time, or no guilt feelings that I need to write. I realize that over time, it will be even more difficult to lose weight and that is added pressure. How do I overcome this pressure, for I tend to do this alone? I am in need of help and I realize that progress needs to be made.
So, what goes into a food journal? What? That is what I need to ask about myself. This journal I promised or I wanted to be a traditional journal. So, how do I go about doing so? Simple, it is just a guide of what I have consumed, when I consumed it, why or rather the ins and outs of what I have consumed. What are my trigger foods? Which foods should I buy again? Which foods are better for me? Which foods should I avoid? Has the consumption of said food and drink made me feel bad? Those are the things with which I have to work on. Cutting and pasting with comments are a good start and they have been helpful, but a traditional journal along with the comments and the cutting and pasting will go a long way as far as my eating habits are concerned. I know that I need to lose weight.
I have issues that I need to deal with such as the binge eating and the hormonal issues. I believe the real issue is, how personal and how far should I go with this? Why do I need and want to lose weight? What are my true motives? Is my heart into losing weight; if it is, how much do I want and need to lose? I have to answer those questions for myself. Reminding myself to renew my mindset wouldn't hurt either. There are just too many should's, musts, have to's, etc. My black and white thinking has caused me nothing but feeling overwhelmed. I truly want this journal to be a lesson and I really, really need to take charge of my health. I don't want to end up with any preventable sores, amputations, and other signs of declining health. I don't also want to be more self-conscious than ever, which I am. Why do I want to change my body? Why do I often compare myself to others? Why do I feel so bad about myself? Maybe I should also ask questions and write down my feelings in this journal. I have finally realized that there are things that would and could go a mighty long way.